How childhood trauma links love and fear

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Childhood trauma doesn’t just live in your memories—it rewires how you show up in relationships. If you’ve ever panicked when someone leaves your text on read, overshared on a first date, or pulled away when closeness feels scary, you’re not alone. These patterns are often rooted in attachment wounds from early experiences of neglect, control, or fear.

In this video, we explore how Complex PTSD (CPTSD) and attachment injuries from childhood trauma disrupt the ability to form safe, secure relationships as an adult. You’ll learn the 7 most common ways CPTSD shows up in love and friendship—like fear of abandonment, people-pleasing, emotional dysregulation, or repeating toxic patterns. We’ll also dive into attachment styles—anxious, avoidant, disorganized—and how they develop from early relational wounds.

Most importantly, you’ll discover 5 stages of healing that can help you rebuild secure attachment. From slowing down in new relationships, to reparenting yourself with compassion, to creating earned secure attachments, there are clear steps you can take to change the way you connect.

Healing from Complex PTSD takes time, but healthy, lasting relationships are possible. You can rewire your nervous system, learn to trust, and finally feel safe being loved.

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Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.

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