The Cost of Defiance

This chapter explores the personal and relational costs of making defiant decisions in the face of financial pressures. It emphasizes the importance of financial literacy and the psychological factors influencing individuals, particularly in high-stakes situations, encouraging listeners to recognize their own tension signals and assert themselves effectively.

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#574: What would you do if someone in authority told you to do something that felt wrong? Most of us like to think we'd speak up, push back, stand our ground. But research tells a very different story.

In fact, when Yale researchers conducted a famous experiment in the 1960s, they found that 65% of people would administer what they believed to be deadly electric shocks to another human being... simply because someone in a lab coat told them to.

Today's guest has spent over 15 years studying why humans comply with authority - even when every fiber of our being is screaming that we shouldn't. And when it comes to our money, this tendency to comply with authority figures - from financial advisors to real estate agents to car salespeople - can cost us dearly.

Dr. Sunita Sah began her career as a physician in the UK's National Health Service. During one particularly exhausting period as a junior doctor, she agreed to meet with a financial advisor who had contacted her at work. That meeting sparked questions that would shape the rest of her career: Why did she feel pressured to trust this advisor, even after learning he had a conflict of interest?

Today, she's a tenured professor at Cornell University, where her groundbreaking research on compliance and influence has been featured in The New York Times and Scientific American. She's advised government agencies, served on the National Commission on Forensic Science, and helps leaders understand the psychology behind why we say "yes" when we really want to say "no."

Whether you're meeting with a financial advisor, negotiating the price of a home, or discussing rates with a contractor, understanding the psychology of compliance could save you thousands of dollars - and help you make better financial decisions. Today's conversation isn't just about psychology - it's about protecting your wealth by learning when and how to say "no."

Resources Mentioned in the Episode:

- Website: sunitasah.com

- Newsletter: Defiant by Design on Substack

- Connect with Dr. Sah on LinkedIn

- Follow Dr. Sah on Instagram

About Dr. Sunita Sah

Dr. Sunita Sah is a tenured professor at Cornell University specializing in organizational psychology. Her research focuses on how and why people comply with authority, even against their better judgment. A former physician in the UK's National Health Service, Dr. Sah brings a unique perspective to understanding human behavior and decision-making. Her work has been featured in leading publications including The New York Times and Scientific American, and she has served as a Commissioner on the National Commission on Forensic Science.

Timestamps:

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0:00 Intro

4:00 Most people follow authority against their own judgment

7:01 Dr. Sah meets a pushy financial advisor as a young doctor

9:55 Why conflict-of-interest disclosures backfire

12:16 "Insinuation anxiety" makes us cave under pressure

14:13 The "sales pitch effect" creates unwanted obligation

17:29 Growing up conditioned to comply as a South Asian daughter

20:34 Career paths: following passion vs family expectations

27:29 The Milgram experiments reveal our tendency to obey

35:28 Using "quiet defiance" to resist pressure

42:20 Why managers misunderstand employee silence

46:43 Five elements that separate consent from compliance