Warmup:

Your D&D Group of 5 is suddenly and permanently moving to a D&D group of 4. Your players love having 5 characters. You get to now create a character that is actually your character.

Intro:

Welcome back to How to Be a Better DM. I’m your host, Justin Lewis, here with my cohort, Tanner Weyland. Together, we’re here to help you learn how to craft better stories for your players as you play D&D. Today, we’re going to talk about a big challenge today: how to engage players in D&D who don’t seem to be engaged.

Before we get to today’s topic let’s go through some housekeeping items.

Main topic:

Justin

Reality check.

At some point (whether before or after trying any of these tips), you will have to come to grips with the fact that maybe your player doesn’t actually want to play D&D. They might be playing just to make you happy or they are giving it a try and they don’t really grasp it yet (or it isn’t their thing). So when you get to a point when you don’t know how to engage an unengaged player, ask them if they really want to play. Chances are, D&D isn’t for them.

1. Flank your players

Your unengaged player is not just an unengaged person. No matter what you think, there is something in life that does engage them. So with this step, examine your player. Think about what they like to do in their free time. Think about what you might find them doing when they don’t have any responsibility and can do whatever they want. If you can’t think of anything, then ask them. Learn about your players. Something in what they choose to spend their free time on will trigger an idea. Let’s think of a few possibilities.

T.V.: Most people, when asked what they do in their spare time, will say they watch a handful of shows. This is golden material for you. Ask them what shows they like to watch and then go research those shows. Try and dissect what those shows bring to the table. 

Video Games: A lot of people will also say video games. This is also golden material because not all games are the same. You get different things from playing Halo Infinite than you do Elden Ring. So ask them what games they play mostly. Then try and incorporate some of that game into the campaign.

Social Media: Many people might say they spend a lot of time scrolling the feeds of social media. Excellent. Ask them about that or even follow them and do some research.

You might be noticing a pattern. You see, everyone has things that they like. Your job is to figure out what your players like and then add that to the game.

Bonus: After you get good at that, you can then start to anticipate what they *probably* will like. That is when the game gets even more exciting.

1. Shorter Sessions

Tanner

1. Side Arc: If your players are having a hard time connecting, do a side arc! Kind of like a bottle episode, but longer. Using what you learned about their favorite shows/games//genres, create a side arc that puts their character into an interesting situation. Just remember that you want them to have high control of the new arc—otherwise, they will be disconnected from the experience. The real joy of a side arc is that the players can have a real effect on the world. When it is the main campaign, DMs have to be careful with how much creative control. With side arcs, you can be more free with player control. Examples:
2. Have them create a store, restaurant, or other business, and have them participate in a business rivalry.
3. Have them wake up in a Squid Game style death game run by some noble.
4. Make a boat journey where they run the boat.

Intermission:

Now that player came back. You have to get rid of your character that love. How do you do it?

Main Topic Cont:

Justin

1. Secrets

One way to help your unengaged player re-engage is to involve them in a conspiracy. Well, it’s not actually that insidious, but you get the idea. Everyone loves a juicy secret. While you are at the table try incorporating whispers to a singular player or having everyone but one player leave the room for some time. Even if your unengaged player isn’t the player involved in the secret, they will still wonder and speculate as to what might be happening. This will involve their mind and hopefully spark their curiosity which will trigger interest. 

If you can’t find a way to do that at the table, then try it in between D&D sessions. You’ll have to use the unengaged player as your accomplice otherwise they’ll likely never know of the secret. Make sure to use phrases like, “Pretend like you don’t know,” or “Don’t tell anyone else”. This will give them a prompt for their role play. Everyone has lied so they’ll know how to do it which should make roleplaying slightly easier.

1. Lighten up on the long-winded stuff
2. Travel time.

Tanner

Player Controlled NPCs

• this is always fun to me: players come up with the most fun NPCs. Give them some guidelines. If you are really wanting them to get involved, let them control a villain!

Conclusion

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