Track Patterns to Find Triggers

Several years ago, I read a book entitled Marriage to a Difficult Man. I felt a little self-conscious toting it around with me at the time, lest anyone assume it was a how-to book rather than recognizing it for what it was: a biography of the famous 18th-century revivalist preacher Jonathan Edwards in relation to his very patient and supportive wife.

I have a similar concern in publishing this week's episode, in which I offer advice to a reader who is looking for help in dealing with what she calls a "Jekyll and Hyde" husband. While nearly 40 years of marriage has taught me a lot about living in peace with a partner who can sometimes be difficult (a description he could rightly apply to me, as well), I would never go so far as to compare my own husband's mood swings to the infamous Dr. Jekyll.

Nevertheless, I've endeavored to answer this reader's question with tips that have been helpful in my own marriage and with ideas I've drawn from observing the marriages of those around me. I hope you'll listen in and be encouraged.

• 1 Peter 3:8 - "...be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble."
• 1 Corinthians 7:5 - "Do not deprive each other, except by mutual consent and for a time...."
• Proverbs 13:12 - "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."
• 1 Corinthians 13:15 - "When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But...."
• Romans 3:23 - "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
• Psalms 139:23-24 - "Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me, and know my anxious thoughts...."
• Galatians 6:9 - "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if...."
• James 1:2-3 - " Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that....” 
•  Proverbs 15:1 - "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
• Colossians 4:6 - "Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that....” 
• Philippians 1:6 - "...He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” 
• Philippians 4:8 - "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right...."

• EP 34: The #1 Rule for Building a Happy Marriage
• EP 31: How to Love Your Husband Well
• EP 12: When You're Married to a Problem Solver
• EP 2: Dealing with Difficult In-Laws
• Love Your Husband/Love Yourself (my book)

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