I think there's these alternatives about how we can spend our time that are kind of semi-social or faux-social but I think that's actually damaging because it keeps us from doing the hard work of getting face to face and actually working to build a friendship. Becca: If what gets lost is all of us not trying to start a conversation out of fear or out of fear that won't lead anywhere it doesn't mean anything. These conversations are meaningful and are bringing something special into their lives although they struggle with it sometimes too, she says. We should cross that junior high dance floor of sorts and go talk to somebody new knowing that this person might reject us or knowing that the interaction
Making small talk can be hard—especially when you’re not sure whether you’re doing it well. But conversations are a central part of relationship-building.
In this first episode of How to Talk to People, we explore the psychological barriers to making good small talk and unravel the complexities of the mutual discomfort that comes with talking to people we don’t know well.
The social scientist Ty Tashiro and the hairstylists Erin Derosa and Mimi Craft help us understand what it means to integrate awkwardness into our pursuit of relationships.
This episode is hosted by Julie Beck, produced by Rebecca Rashid, and edited by Jocelyn Frank and Claudine Ebeid. Fact-check by Ena Alvarado. Engineering by Rob Smierciak. The managing editor is Andrea Valdez. Special thanks to AC Valdez.
Music by Tellsonic (“The Whistle Funk”), Ryan James Carr (“Botanist Boogie Breakdown”), and Arthur Benson (“Organized Chaos,” “She Is Whimsical”).
Talk to How to Talk to People—by “talk,” we mean write to us—at howtopodcast@theatlantic.com. To support this podcast, and get unlimited access to all of The Atlantic’s journalism, become a subscriber.
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