Navigating the Balance Between Perfectionism and Self-Acceptance

This episode is a two-for-one, and that’s because the podcast recently hit its 10-year anniversary and passed one billion downloads. To celebrate, I’ve curated some of the best of the best—some of my favorites—from more than 700 episodes over the last decade. I could not be more excited. The episode features segments from episode #76 "Rick Rubin on Cultivating World-Class Artists (Jay Z, Johnny Cash, etc.), Losing 100+ Pounds, and Breaking Down the Complex" and episode #479 "Mary Karr — The Master of Memoir on Creative Process and Finding Gifts in the Suffering."

Please enjoy!

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Timestamps:

[00:00] Start

[05:11] Notes about this supercombo format.

[06:15] Enter Rick Rubin.

[07:58] How Rick lost over 135 pounds in his late 30s.

[16:03] How artists can hurdle the obstacles that hinder their best work.

[19:31] Where to find world-class contemporary music.

[20:24] Approaching music production with a fan’s-eye view.

[22:53] Recommended reading.

[24:22] Helping artists break their creative blocks.

[26:54] Rick’s advice for his younger selves.

[29:06] Why practicing self-kindness isn’t just nice — it’s a necessity.

[32:01] Enter Mary Karr.

[32:25] Growing up in “The Ringworm Belt.”

[34:44] The catalyst for Mary expressing herself and publishing to the world.

[37:47] The role reading played for young Mary.

[40:31] The feeling that inspired Mary’s desire to become a poet at a young age.

[44:27] “Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.”

[45:17] How Mary, a high school dropout, got into college and became an A student.

[49:13] Mary’s struggle with bringing darkness with her even after leaving her traumatic past.

[53:23] The highly selective process for getting into Mary’s graduate seminar at Syracuse University.

[54:33] The first day of Mary’s class and what it illustrates about processing memoir-building memories.

[1:00:20] The value of a commonplace book and helping others find alternative perspectives.

[1:04:19] The importance and utility of prayer in Mary’s life and sobriety.

[1:17:09] The significance of Ignatian exercises in Mary’s Catholic faith and gratitude practice.

[1:23:10] Obligatory Texas talk about weaponry and hunting.

[1:26:41] The origins of Mary’s unique wordsmithing.

[1:34:24] Mary’s process of rough drafts, revision, and using past memories for storytelling.

[1:42:34] How Mary copes with the pain of dredging up memories through writing.

[1:46:09] Why Mary feels the happiest at 65 and her advice to her younger self about therapy.

[1:49:26] The most and least effective types of therapy for Mary.

[1:53:25] Mary’s solution to fear and getting through uncomfortable times.

[1:58:14] Recognizing the gifts from suffering through difficult times in retrospect.

[2:06:28] Mary’s billboard.

[2:07:35] Parting thoughts.

*

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Past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, Margaret Atwood, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Thiel, Dr. Gabor Maté, Anne Lamott, Sarah Silverman, Dr. Andrew Huberman, and many more.

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