2min chapter

The Gray Area with Sean Illing cover image

Best of: Alison Gopnik changed how I think about love

The Gray Area with Sean Illing

CHAPTER

I Don't Want to Be a Load

There's this funny way in which our transactionalist assumption of what would make us an appealing person to others can be pretty poisonous. I think it's actually particularly true for men who often have a lot of trouble asking or showing vulnerability that admits care, except for maybe their partner or family. And so then there are fewer people who have learned to care for them and have developed that kind of closeness with them. This seems to me to be a way in which we fail to give people a sense of how relationships truly work.

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