How to Survive a Body Surf

I'm trying to do this top down control thing where my intellect is going to make a decision and then inflict it on my body. And that's right and wrong constantly. There's no right or wrong. If you're, if you're swimming underneath the waterfall, you're not doing it right or doing it wrong. You're just suffering or not suffering and you suffer to the extent you don't relax. I've got to tell you at the moments when waves have caught me and picked me up and started pounding me against the bottom and scraping my skin off and everything, I feel this tremendous delight. It's like fully realizing what is true all the time, which is control is an