How To Assert Yourself Effectively (Without Losing Your Cool)
Beyond Success
Techniques for Effective Communication
This chapter discusses three techniques for effective communication, including the use of I statements, negative inquiry, and self-disclosure. These techniques aim to create deeper and more genuine connections in relationships.
Do you feel like the people in your life push you around? Like your voice and opinions don’t matter? Or that other people frequently take advantage of you?
Well, here’s the cold, hard truth:
Unless you're comfortable with being assertive, you'll just end up being a doormat. This applies to every relationship you have: with your significant other, with your coworkers and bosses, and even in general social situations.
To make matters worse, many men struggle with being assertive. They didn't have good assertive role models growing up, and they fear exploding with aggressiveness or anger.
But asserting yourself has nothing to do with being aggressive or angry. In fact, it’s the complete opposite.
In today’s show, you’ll discover how to assert yourself effectively, why toxic shame and trauma makes being assertive tougher, and how being assertive improves every relationship you enter.
After listening to this episode, you’ll walk away with the confidence and strategies to ensure that you're seen, heard, and respected—without having to resort to being a brute or being aggressive.
Listen now!
Show Highlights:
- Why others take advantage of you (and how to put an end to it today) (2:03)
- The biggest misconception about assertiveness which instantly make you more assertive and attractive (2:46)
- The weird way being assertive means you respect the other person involved (and how this helps you be more assertive if you’re not naturally assertive) (4:03)
- How reading this sleazy-sounding book can help you naturally become more assertive (6:52)
- Why growing up in a well-meaning Christian family makes you an easy target for hawks who want to take advantage of you (8:54)
- Dealing with an unreasonable demand from someone in your life? Here’s why standing your ground prevents you from being a doormat (11:28)
- True story: How the assertive “3 C” system can land you a free flight to France (17:24)
- The “Early Method” for eliminating nervousness before asserting yourself so tension dissipates instead of builds (25:52)
- 7 actionable techniques for becoming more assertive, especially if you shy away from conflict (and how to apply them in real conversations) (33:50)
- The “I statement” secret for handling conflict without attacking the other person (34:35)
Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I've helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I'm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to check out my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://www.davidtianphd.com/masterclass/ now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
The AI-powered Podcast Player
