Are We Called to Shape Others? Is That a Violent Conception?

I want to violently collide with other people and leave them misshapen. I am not called to shape other people. So i reject the violent conception of being christian, rding to evangelicalism that i inherited is violent. Since paul exhorts the church to be transformed in its imagination and its practices in ephesans four an romans 12,. That's my aim. What i am interested in asking is how the church can be transformed through conversations with l g b t c plus people with l gb t c, plus christians. The church doesn't transform anything.