84. Relationship Anarchy: The Romance Myth and Navigating Jealousy with Dean Spade
Modern Anarchy
The Importance of Choice in Relationships
Dean: I'm no longer gonna date like people who are like actively ruining their lives though oh it's just not fun so and it bleeds over into my life. He says we can also become discerning about about the fact that we have those drives which is different than having like I'm totally out of control or you could keep a tear of a stroke but instead he has enough capacity in himself to be a chooser. Dean on his relationship with shame: "I found it very useful when I'm having shame to try to clear it up by checking it out with somebody I trust being like I'm feeling shame"
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