Can You Forgive Me?

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You're never obligated to forgive your abuser, ever. With trauma, never. You might write in your healing process as you do your work of healing. That is harm that can never be fully repaired. It's so good because it's often, it often feels like, can you forgive me? Feels shorthand for, can we pretend that that never happened? Can we go back to way that never happened?" "That feels like the opposite of forgiveness for the person which is accepting that it can never be different"

1. Why we should stop expecting people to forgive.

2. Rabbi Danya’s five step-by-step process for repairing a relationship.

3. What makes a good – and a terrible – apology.

4. What to do (and to not say) if you want to make amends and change.

5. Why repentance is a process that has nothing to do with the one who was hurt.

About Rabbi Ruttenberg:

Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg is an award-winning author of 8 books, including On Repentance and Repair: Making Amends in an Unapologetic World. She serves as Scholar in Residence at the National Council of Jewish Women, and her writing has appeared in the New York Times, the Atlantic, Salon, Time, Newsweek, and many other publications.

TW: @TheRaDR

IG: @rabbidanyaruttenberg

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