Rejecting Perfection: The Value of Imperfect Parenting

With the (yes, weird to make it a footnote but) footnote that the global environmental, cultural, social and real human costs of AI are massive, today we are zeroing in on just one question about AI: the impact of AI on kids and parents. How will the coming ubiquity of AI tools in our homes, schools and workplaces impact child development, parenthood and the world our children will inherit in their adulthood?

Our guest today is Doctor Dana Suskind, founder and Co-Director of the a Center for Early Learning + Public Health at the University of Chicago, Founding Director of the Pediatric Cochlear Implant Program, and Professor of Surgery, Pediatrics, and Public Policy at the University of Chicago. She is the author of “Thirty Million Words: Building a Child’s Brain” and “Parent Nation: Unlocking Every Child’s Potential, Fulfilling Society’s Promise.” Her next book, on AI and early childhood development, will be published by Penguin Dutton in the Fall of 2026.

In this meaty episode, we talk to Dr. Suskind about about how using AI impacts our minds and how she is thinking about its influence on developing brains in particular. What do we know right now about what happens when kids interact with AI?

From the episode:

“The vast majority of brain development happens, some 90 % happens within the first five years of life, and it is almost entirely dependent on their exposure to language and nurturing interaction. That’s what wires up the brain. We call it serve and return between caregiver and child. Nurturing interaction builds the social brain, and our ability as humans to connect. What does it mean when all of a sudden you have AI tools that want to step in and take over some of those serve and return? Infants’ learn not from perfect interaction, they learn from the imperfect. From that emotionally rich dance between parent and caregiver — those slight mismatches, our imperfect parenting. It’s actually biologically required to [help our children] become human that we are imperfect. This is an important moment. A.I. could fundamentally change who we are if we’re not careful.” - Dr. Dana Suskind

Two Princeton professors wrote in a paper on AI recently that AI will “supercharge capitalism.” Will AI also supercharge what is expected from us as humans, and as parents? If we want to insulate our kids from this technological moment, but we also want to raise nimble, adaptable kids who can get jobs in a world where using AI will be a must-have skill, how can we think about this cultural and practical tension in the context of parenthood without having a panic attack?

Dr. Suskind helps us think through this rapidly evolving moment with clarity and humor, and she shares a simple strategy from her forthcoming book that Sarah and I will definitely be implementing ASAP.

Links:

* Dr. Dana Suskind

* UNICEF and World Economic Forum paper: Children and AI: What are the opportunities and risks?

* Empire of AI by Karen Hao

* Your brain on AI (MIT study on ChatGPT’s impact on learning)

* Miranda on AI and kids in The Atlantic

* AI and colonialism (supertopic at MIT)

* Brian Scassellati, Ph.D. at the Yale Robotics lab

* Wait Until 8th pledge

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