Reframing standards and self-talk

How do you stay afloat when everything is falling apart? Life can - and will - hit you hard. And how can you lead others when you feel like you can’t lead yourself?

This week, Jay sits down for an interview with Tiffany Fykes and Sarah Reynolds from Empire Building, to share some of the deeply personal hardships he has navigated in the past several years, and opens up about what it really looks like to lead when your systems, confidence, and energy are all under strain.

Rather than pretending strength means pushing through alone, Jay shares how adversity can become an ally if you’re willing to learn from it. He introduces the idea of building “lighthouses”: simple frameworks, reframes, and support systems that help you navigate future storms with more clarity and less damage.

You’ll hear why reframing self-talk matters most when standards feel impossible, how recalibrating expectations can keep you moving forward, and why re-engineering your village is essential for sustainable leadership. This conversation is an honest reminder that extraordinary results don’t come from avoiding storms, but from learning how to lead through them with grace, transparency, and purpose.

Challenge of the Week:

Take one challenge you’re facing right now and turn it into a solution. Then ask: can this solution become a simple framework, checklist, or ritual for my future self?

We talk about:

[00:00] Introduction to Empire Building and Jay Papasan[03:38] Jay's Personal Storm[10:00] Building Lighthouses and Helping Others[15:50] Reframing Standards and Recalibrating Priorities [20:42] What Does “Doing Your Best” Actually Mean Right Now[24:17]  How Do You Re-Engineer Your Support System[34:00] What Changes When You Build Rituals of Connection[37:46] Why Coaching is so Important 

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To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods.

We talk about:

• How to reframe adversity without lowering your standards  

• Why done is good and good is great in hard seasons  

• The power of intentionally rebuilding your support system

Links & Tools from This Episode:

• The ONE Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan  

• Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy  

• Empire Building podcast

• Free Resources

• Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email podcast@the1thing.com or send us an audio note at Speakpipe.com/the1thing.

Produced by NOVA