Recently, a number of parents in the Parenting Membership have posted in our community about challenges they've faced that they've navigated with grace that would have seemed insurmountable a couple of years ago.
Many of these are parents of children who are already through the toddler stage, and the parents are starting to see the tools they've been using come alive in their interactions with their children.
I thought: There's a podcast episode in that!
I asked parents to submit short videos to me responding to the question:
What do you wish you had known about parenting when your children were young?
The resulting videos are collected, along with my commentary, in this week's episode.
The insights that these parents offer are profound. I don't want to give too much away, but let's just say that you're not going to hear advice about a must-have crib or wipe warmer or toy.
This is advice about:
- How we see ourselves
- What is our role as parents to guide our children without shaping them
- How we can be whole, fulfilled people ourselves when there's so much pressure on us to be a 'good parent'
If you want to hear from parents who share your values and who have been in it for a while to know what's worth worrying about and what isn't, this episode is for you.
Parenting Membership
If parenting feels really hard, and it seems like you’ve read all the books and you’ve asked for advice in free communities and you’re tired of having to weed through all the stuff that isn’t aligned with your values to get to the few good nuggets, then the Parenting Membership will help you out.
Join the waitlist to get notified when doors reopen in May 2025. Click the banner to learn more.
Other episodes referenced in this episode:
079: What is RIE? | Your Parenting Mojo
084: The Science of RIE | Your Parenting Mojo
085: White privilege in schools | Your Parenting Mojo
SYPM 010: From anxious overwhelm to optimistic calm
Jump to highlights
(01:40)Introduction of this episode’s topic
(02:25)Jen admits that she didn't give much consideration to parenting before her daughter, Carys, was born
(03:17)Jen shares how her journey into respectful parenting started through RIE
(04:42)Parent Elizabeth reflects on her experience and shares what she wished she had known about parenting
(06:33) The impact of unhealed trauma is reflected in the way we parent our children
(07:21) How the arrival of a child can shift the balance in a relationship leading to conflict, even if both partners entered into the partnership as equals
(09:05) The dynamics of patriarchal relationships
(10:09) Parent Jenny reflects on her experience and shares what she wished she had known about parenting during the time she wasn't prioritizing her own need for sleep
(12:29) Discussion on how patriarchal power structures can play out within the context of parenting and caregiving
(13:48) Parent Jenny's decision to prioritize rest shows that her need for rest is legitimate and important
(14:19) Our child expresses their unmet need by hitting(15:33)Parent Anne reflects on her visions about parenting and shares what she wished she had known about parenting
(18:45) What is “Opportunity hoarding” among White parents
(20:48) Parent Iris reflects on her parenting experience(22:33)the pressure that parents put on themselves that creates enormous pressure
(23:50) Parent Iris realizes that buying things to solve parenting problems is not always the answer
(25:14) The privilege that some parents have in terms of how they are perceived by society and the consequences they may face for certain choices
(26:11) Parent Anne shares what she wished she had known about her interactions with her mom, her husband, and her child
(29:53) Parent Anne shares her struggles with setting boundaries (31:14) Parent Anne's journey to becoming a better parent and healing from her own trauma
(33:58) Parent Laura shares her son's potty problems and what she wished she had known about potty learning
(37:13) Parent Laura highlights the importance of trusting your intuition and problem-solving skills as a parent
(38:20) Respectful and gentle parenting as a tool to build a good relationship with our child
(39:09) Parent Lucinda reflects on her experience and shares what she wished she had known about parenting
(41:56) How understanding one's own needs is crucial for being able to have authentic relationships with family and community
(43:24) Parent Melissa reflects on her experience and shares what she wished she had known about parenting
(45:51) The benefits of being in an ACTion group in the Parenting Membership
(47:14) Parent Benson reflects on his experience and shares what he wished he had known about parenting
(48:51) Parent Amanda reflects on her experience and shares what she wished she had known about parenting
(50:35) The importance of having a plan in parenting
(52:03) Parent Elizabeth shares her realization that parenting is a continuous learning process
(53:18) The importance of learning new skills to do things differently
(55:34) Invitation to join the Parenting Membership
