Breaking the Cycle of the Validation Spiral

Why is it that it seems like no amount of work, accolades, or achievement is enough? Why do we keep signing up for more, even as our capacity becomes ever more depleted? Why do we settle for mediocrity when we yearn for excellence?

In today's episode, I revisit an idea from my book—the validation spiral—and provide a framework for understanding why we become stuck in it and how we can break free. Add to that a healthy dose of Audre Lorde's feminist theory, and you've got a satisfying mental model for rethinking your commitments.

Summer Seminar starts Monday, June 9! Learn more about this flexible, brain-tickling program that combines speculative fiction with systems thinking: click here!

Footnotes:

• Read the written version of this essay (with visuals!)
• "The Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power" by Audre Lorde from Sister Outsider
• What Works: A Comprehensive Framework to Change the Way You Approach Goal-Setting by Tara McMullin
• Melissa Febos on The Feminist Present