Neurosis

You need to shine awareness into the problem rather than just blindly take action. Neurosis can be seen as forced action. The neurotic person thinks he can use his will to brute force his way into the solution without understanding the deeper issues involved. And so you develop this kind of self flagellating, very harsh self discipline. This creates ah a rift inside of you. You break integrity with yourself. So action isn't always the solution. Sometimes requires turning inward. That's why you self sabotage. that's why you can't change your patterns its becaus you're trying to turn outward for outward solutions all the time.