What Would I Do if He Died?

i imagined learning about his death, who would call me, what would they say? How would that initial reaction go inside of me? And then i made it real. I pretended it was real. I wanted to experience it, because i don't know why was i doing it back. Because when someone's out of your life for a while, and you've chosen that, you've chosen for them to be out of yourLife. This helped prepare me for when he would eventually die.