How Do I Change Things That I Can't Change by Direct Effort?

The longer I walk with Jesus, the more I would have kind of these mysterious things where I would act in a way that I know didn't align with him and his kingdom. And it just felt really hard to continue to grow sometimes as a pastor because I felt like I was on my own in some ways. Dallas Willard put a lot of emphasis in spiritual disciplines. But again, what I saw from that often was the same variability and unpredictability for one person and the same person sitting at the same table doing the same exercises.