With the trauma bond one of the ways it can be really dysfunctional in a forming a relationship is that if one of you is trying to heal and the other one is going I don't want to pay attention to this. It can be really hard to grow and heal if the other person isn't at the same place as you. That can be really challenging well what you just described is that a system that has one part of it that's going to change the other parts of the system will try to drag that other part back into homeostasis with it because it's not ready to change yeah go ahead and sorry. They have also been conditioned by since we've been talking about intergenerational