You need to stop conflating your ego, in your personal sense of satisfaction with planning life and being happy. The second thing that you've really got to do is plan your life. But don't plan based on assuming that if i do this, forty years later i'll be happy. You can't plan out how to win a chess game, but at any given moment you can try to make the next best move. And once you figure out what the formula of happiness is, then you can start crafting your life towards it.