The idea of denial is that the pen light of your attention is being directed away from something. It's why, i think, if you're for a moment ging o, just pretend that your loved one is still alive, then, of course, you don't feel bad any more. Children are asked to stare at marsh mellows until they get nothing left in their eyes and do not notice anything else happening around them. The Marsh Mellow Test will be broadcast on BBC One later this month.