John's Madrid trip and a favourite Bernabéu bar

John Murray, Ian Dennis & Ali Bruce-Ball discuss what it’s like being a commentator at Christmas. They look ahead to the festive schedule, Ian aims to stretch his lead in Clash of the Commentators, there are more unintended pub and film names, and which commentary phrases will end up in our Great Glossary? Suggestions welcome on WhatsApp voicenotes to 08000 289 369 & emails to TCV@bbc.co.uk

00:40 What is Christmas like for commentators? 03:25 Is it right to play at 8pm on Boxing Day? 05:10 John gets wet at Newcastle 07:40 Christmas commentary bingo 12:30 John’s special treatment in Madrid 17:15 Commentary highlights this festive period 19:10 Unintended pub names & film titles 30:20 Clash of the Commentators 37:15 Great Glossary of Football Commentary

5 Live / BBC Sounds Premier League commentaries: Sat 20 Dec 1500 Man City v West Ham, Sat 20 Dec 1500 Brighton v Sunderland on Sports Extra, Sat 20 Dec 1730 Tottenham v Liverpool, Sun 21 Dec 1330 Hearts v Rangers, Sun 21 Dec 1630 Aston Villa v Man Utd, Tue 23 Dec 2000 Arsenal v Palace in EFL Cup QF.

Great Glossary of Football Commentary:

DIVISION ONE Blaze over the bar, Bosman, Cruyff Turn, Dead-ball specialist, Fox in the box, Giving the goalkeeper the eyes, Head tennis, Hibs it, In a good moment, The Maradona, Off their line, Olimpico, Onion bag, Panenka, Perfect hat-trick, Rabona, Schmeichel-style, Scorpion kick, Spursy, Tiki-taka, Where the kookaburra sleeps, Where the owl sleeps, Where the spiders sleep. DIVISION TWO Ball stays hit, Beaten all ends up, Business end, Came down with snow on it, Catching practice, Camped in the opposition half, Cauldron atmosphere Coat is on a shoogly peg, Come back to haunt them, Corridor of uncertainty, Couldn’t sort their feet out, Easy tap-in, Daisy-cutter, First cab off the rank, Good leave, Half-turn, Has that in his locker, High wide and not very handsome, Hospital pass, Howler, In their pocket, Johnny on the spot, Leading the line, Nice headache to have, Nutmeg, One for the cameras, One for the purists, Played us off the park, Points to the spot, Purple patch, Put their laces through it, Reaches for their pocket, Rolls Royce, Root and branch review, Row Z, Screamer, Seats on the plane, Show across the bows, Slide-rule pass, Steal a march, Stramash, Taking one for the team, Telegraphed that pass, That’s great… (football), Thunderous strike, Walk it in.