77. Peter Boghossian on Civil Discourse, ROGD Hostage Negotiation and Other Impossible Conversations
You Must Be Some Kind of Therapist
Effective Communication and Building Rapport in Difficult Conversations with Children
This chapter emphasizes the importance of effective communication and understanding when engaging in conversations about gender transitioning with children. It highlights the need to avoid confrontations, build rapport, and listen to the child's perspective. The chapter also discusses doubt projection, encouraging children to explore their uncertainties, and emphasizes the seriousness of gender affirming care decisions.
Today I’m joined by Peter Boghossian to discuss the art of facilitating constructive dialogue in a polarized world. Peter explains Street Epistemology as a way to have civil conversations and help people calibrate their beliefs to the evidence and reasons they hold. He shares his experiences teaching in prisons and how it shaped his understanding of applied epistemology.
Our conversation delves into the Socratic method, which is the foundation of street epistemology. Peter describes the five stages of the Socratic method and how it can be used to ask questions and test hypotheses. He emphasizes the importance of calibrated questions and the role of evidence in belief formation.
Peter also discusses the challenges of having conversations about emotionally laden topics and dealing with ideological entrenchment. We discuss the concept of preference falsification and how it can hinder productive dialogue. The importance of perspective taking and asking open-ended questions is highlighted as a way to facilitate understanding and challenge deeply held beliefs.
We also touch on the application of hostage negotiation techniques in difficult conversations, including those between parents and their children with ROGD (rapid onset gender dysphoria). Peter emphasizes the need for a consistent and principled stance, while also recognizing the importance of setting boundaries and removing toxic individuals from one's life. He shares his motivation for engaging in these conversations, which is rooted in the pursuit of truth and a genuine curiosity about why people believe what they do.
Peter Boghossian is a Founding Faculty member at the University of Austin and the Executive Director of National Progress Alliance. Peter has a teaching pedigree spanning more than 25 years that focuses on the Socratic method, scientific skepticism, and critical thinking. Peter’s dissertation explored increasing the moral reasoning of prison inmates and aiding their resistance to crime. His most recent book is How to Have Impossible Conversations, and his writing can be found in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Scientific American, Time Magazine, National Review, and elsewhere. His work is centered on bringing the tools of professional philosophers to a wide variety of contexts to help people think through what seem to be intractable problems.
Find Peter online https://linktr.ee/peterboghossian
Books mentioned in this episode:
- Feminism Against Progress by Mary Harrington
- How to Have Impossible Conversations by Peter Boghossian and James Lindsay
- The Gift of Violence by Matt Thornton, Peter Boghossian, et al
- Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss
All books mentioned on this podcast can be found at sometherapist.com/bookshop or by following the embedded Amazon affiliate links. Purchases help support the show. Thank you!
00:00 Start
[00:00:10] What do people mean when they say diversity, equity, and inclusion?
[00:03:58] The Socratic method stages.
[00:09:21] Acting accordingly.
[00:14:20] Calibrated questions in hostage negotiations.
[00:19:17] Preference falsification in beliefs.
[00:22:30] Facilitating different moral perspectives.
[00:26:21] Hostage negotiation strategies.
[00:29:36] Lost friendships over ideological differences.
[00:33:25] Nasty comments on social media.
[00:35:10] Friendship and Red Lines.
[00:39:54] Hostage situations and parental instinct.
[00:43:41] The rise of homeschooling.
[00:47:46] Illusion of consensus and vulnerability.
[00:49:56] The difficulty of systemic problems.
[00:55:11] Lost art of listening.
[00:57:49] Making life-altering decisions.
[01:01:26] Educating parents of trans identified youth.
[01:03:22] Prediabetes and health concerns.
[01:07:28] Evidence-based beliefs
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Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.
Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.
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