" reaching out just makes you feel bad, and that's why we don't do it," he says. "As long as that belief is held, all this crap is going to persist." You can tackle any of these, but i'd say that you can tackle the cognitions and defense mechanisms if you want to. But i think this is where it starts. And if this, if you can cross this out, you can crossthis out, every else is going to come crumbling down.