"I Was Almost a School Shooter." Aaron Stark's Journey to Hope | What’s Underneath: Masculinity
The Man Enough Podcast
Feeling Empowered and Normal
The speaker shares their experience of being asked to get naked for a video interview, discussing their initial nervousness, feeling empowered and normal afterwards. They also mention watching the video without prior knowledge and being surprised by the request for presentable underwear.
In a surprisingly uplifting discussion, mental health and gun control advocate Aaron Stark shares his harrowing journey from a childhood marred by extreme abuse and instability to the brink of becoming a school shooter. Stark's candid narrative begins with his early years, dominated by a violent father and a life of constant upheaval, leading to feelings of worthlessness and self-harm. His descent into darkness was halted only by the simple, yet profound, act of kindness from a friend, illustrating the transformative power of empathy and connection.
Through this episode, we explore the essence of healthy masculinity and the critical role of vulnerability in mental health. Stark's story is a testament to the human spirit's resilience and the ability to reclaim life from the shadows of despair. His journey from violence to vulnerability highlights the importance of male friendship, understanding, and the courage to break free from the cycles of abuse and self-destruction.
Disclaimer: This episode includes discussions of sensitive topics, such as mental health struggles and suicidal thoughts.
What’s Underneath: Masculinity is Man Enough’s new series in partnership with popular media company StyleLikeU. Enjoy this series of men revealing their full selves every Thursday here on Man Enough. Watch shorter video episodes on http://YouTube.com/StyleLikeU
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp, the world’s largest therapy platform. Visit http://BetterHelp.com/WhatsUnderneath today to get 10% off your first month.
New Man Enough Podcast episodes will continue to hit the feed every Monday.
IN THIS EPISODE:
(01:16) Jamey & Justin introduce the episode
(04:02) Aaron talks about his style and people’s assumptions
(09:34) High school experience & bullying
(13:58) Ego death & coming out with his story after the Parkland shooting
(18:57) The origins of his childhood abuse
(23:56) Homelessness & self-destruction
(31:29) Hitting rock bottom and how Aaron’s friend saved his life
(36:50) Deciding to live
(39:51) Recovery & healing
(49:51) Stripping away the old, starting the new with self-care and storytelling
(52:54) Feeling vulnerable & beautiful
(57:03) Accountability in relationships
(59:53) Weight loss journey
(1:01:53) Being Man Enough
AARON STARK QUOTATIONS:
"He's never once said that I was wrong or that I was broken. He just said that I was a good kid in a shit world."
"There's no difference in the kid in Pakistan who told me that he couldn't talk about his abuse because his bullies in his village would kill him...It's not different with the model who's throwing up in her cup for her photo shoot and me when I was about to shoot up a school. It's all just expressions of I'm not good enough inside myself, and I think I need to burn myself apart to fit life."
"Treat that kid in the dark that tells himself that he hates himself constantly and tells himself that everything in his life is bad and he's the fault of it. Tell him that he's wrong because everybody else is telling him that he's right. And to me, that's a simple equation. "
"Being man enough is being comfortable in yourself and realizing that when you woke up today, you were good enough. And tomorrow you're going to be good enough too. And it's okay to fail, and it's okay to cry, and it's okay to be vulnerable, and it's okay to let someone know that you love them. And it's okay to let someone know that you're hurt, and it's okay to reach out for help."
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