Direct Messages: Strugglers and Their Spouses

In this episode, I sit down with JP and Ashley Graves—longtime friends and members of our church—with a story that’s both difficult and deeply hopeful. We talk about alcohol—not just as a drink, but as an idol that slowly took the throne in JP’s life and nearly destroyed their marriage. What started as casual drinking turned into dependence, deceit, and despair. Ashley shares what it was like to live with a man she barely recognized, and JP walks us through the moment of surrender that led to healing. This isn’t just about sobriety—it’s about learning to recognize the lies you may be believing and the power of Jesus to meet us in our mess, pull us out, and redeem what feels too far gone. If you’re feeling stuck, ashamed, or maybe you aren’t sure if your drinking is a problem—this episode is for you.

In This Episode

• A Fun Marriage with a Hidden Struggle: JP and Ashley share their early faith journeys, how they met, and the beginnings of alcohol use in their marriage.
• Numbing with Alcohol Becomes Normal: COVID, cultural norms, and unprocessed pain escalate drinking into full dependency—especially for JP.
• Deception, Distance, and Despair: JP begins hiding alcohol, Ashley senses the loss of connection, and both begin living separate lives under one roof.
• A Daughter’s Baptism and a Drunken Confession: JP breaks down the night before he’s supposed to baptize their daughter, leading to a confession that changes everything.
• Recovery, Rebuilding, and Radical Forgiveness: JP enters counseling and AA. Ashley processes her pain and begins to hope again as God starts to restore.
• For the One Who Feels Hopeless: JP and Ashley speak directly to listeners—those stuck in addiction and those silently suffering beside them.

Resources 

If you are struggling with alcohol, I want to encourage you to find help. Find a Recovery program at a local church or if you are local to Dallas, Check out Recovery at The Village Church.

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