Asa mentioned kind of briefly before this, this was all under the knowledge that, like, you had this potentially life threatening humor and you didn't know what to do about it. Do you think that that kind of intensity that you threw yourself into the work with, was that a way of avoiding questions around your mortality? Like, how do you reflect on that? So, i was diagnosed in two thousand nine, in the summer, and i was working in the in the television tele communications industry. And i eventually quit my job and sort of fumbled about trying to figure out what i wanted to do with my life.