Vulnerability is something that feels good to me, one would say. My father was this life, really larger than life figure witha major ber and my mother, ou now, my book opens with her mother literally shooting somebody out of our window. And vulnerability is not something either one of them taught me. They've taught me many beautiful things, that's not one of them. I started writing about grief in the early '90s when i wrote a piece for eugene lang called "My Father" It felt like maggie nelson saying that there's sometimes a boulder in front of the things that you want to write, but you have to write the boulder first.

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