Letting Go of Shame: Kyriakos Gold on Self-Acceptance & Identity – Ep 115
Focus and Chill - productivity tactics for AuDHDers and other neurodivergent folks
From Shame to Self-Kindness
Kyriakos explains reframing guilt, learning self-kindness, and balancing accountability with acceptance.
What if healing didn’t come from discipline, masking or “doing better,” but from kindness?
In this episode, Kyriakos Gold shares his story of unmasking after an autistic diagnosis and the life-changing shift from self-criticism to self-kindness. Instead of trying to live according to what research, experts or society prescribe, Kyriakos talks honestly about rebuilding life around what actually works for your brain.
About the Guest
Kyriakos Gold is the founder of Just Gold Agency and a passionate advocate for neurodivergent inclusion. Through storytelling, community impact initiatives and social entrepreneurship, he helps create workplaces and environments where autistic and otherwise neurodivergent people don’t need to mask to belong. Kyriakos is also a leader in Autistic Pride Day and has driven multiple projects empowering neurodivergent voices globally.
🔍 Episode Highlights (with accurate timestamps)
00:01:40 – Late diagnosis & a new autistic lens
Kyriakos talks about getting an autism diagnosis in midlife and feeling like he’s “five years old in autistic years.” He explains how autism became the main lens he sees the world through, more stable than culture, nationality or environment.
00:08:31 – The unmasking process: freeing and traumatic
When he began unmasking, it wasn’t a gentle shift but a feeling of falling off a cliff emotionally. He describes mentally revisiting old memories, reinterpreting past interactions, and how liberating honesty came with fights, broken relationships and a complete rebuild of his ecosystem.
00:12:30 – From guilt and shame to being unapologetically autistic
Kyriakos shares how years of not knowing he was autistic led to constant self-criticism: every barrier felt like a personal failure. Moving toward being “unapologetically autistic” meant dropping shame and guilt without using autism as an excuse, and learning where he’d genuinely been unkind so he could repair it.
00:15:00 – Dyspraxia, “laziness” and redefining effort
He describes growing up in Greece, being expected to work on farms and constantly being called lazy when his body simply wouldn’t cooperate. Later he realized this was likely dyspraxia: his brain was willing, but his body sometimes felt like it was stuck in a high gear, making basic movement feel impossibly heavy.
00:20:00 – “Mickey Mouse way”: what works for your brain, not experts
Instead of obsessing over doing things the “proper” way, he builds what he calls the “Mickey Mouse way”: systems that actually work for him, even if they aren’t textbook-perfect. He’ll learn the official method later, then blend it with his own adaptations, always prioritising what his brain and body can realistically handle.
00:23:30 – Designing a sensory-safe, dopamine-friendly environment
From AI-generated art on the walls to smells, light, fresh air and a clean bedroom, Kyriakos shows how his home is intentionally built to support his autistic and dyspraxic needs. When his room is ordered and the sensory input feels right, getting moving and functioning becomes significantly easier.
00:33:23 – Sleep, coffee and realising he’s rarely truly rested
Kyriakos explains that while he can fall asleep fast, his brain often works all night, replaying work scenarios or arguments. Coffee helps him function, but too much stimulation worsens sleep, so he uses music, temperature and routine to try to coax his nervous system into deeper rest.
00:36:30 – Kindness as regulation: not everything has to happen today
He talks about the “kindness” he mentioned earlier as the courage to slow down: taking breaks, extending his morning routine, and accepting that not every task must be done immediately. When he gives himself that space, his day moves slower, his sleep improves, and he’s less like a “cranky baby” running on empty.
00:41:30 – How to connect: LinkedIn, Just Gold & Autistic Pride Day
To close, Kyriakos shares how people can reach out personally, work with Just Gold, or join / support the Autistic Pride Day campaign, including free resources and opportunities for organisations to get involved.
Connect with Kyriakos Gold:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kyriakosgold/
Website: https://justgold.net/
Connect with Jeremy:
LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/nageljeremy
Email: jeremy@focusbear.io
Connect with Joey:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joeycorea/
Newsletter: https://thepluckyjester.com/newsletter/
More from Focus Bear:
Website: https://focusbear.io
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/focus-bear/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@focusbearapp
Twitter: https://twitter.com/focusbear1
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/focus_bear/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/focusbearapp/
Podcast: https://podcast.focusbear.io
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