Spencer: It's extremely hard to not hurt someone's feelings on at least some level. I think possibly some of the greatest costs to the guest culture thing is having to be super indirect about really minor things. So why can't we just turn it off for the minor things? Is it because we don't always know what's minor or is it just like a sort of building a habit and expectations so that it then applies in the more serious cases?
Read the full transcript here.
How straightforwardly should we communicate our preferences to others? How many times does a person need to say "yes" relative to the number of times they say "no" so that a relationship can be maintained? Most people probably use a mix of asking and guessing; but under what conditions should each strategy be employed? What are the costs and benefits for the askers, guessers, and the people of whom the explicit or implicit request is being made? Since even the act of asking a question can be revealing, how can we know when to disclose certain pieces of information about our preferences? Does asking or guessing work better in small or large groups? Is it more polite to guess or ask? How does "tell" culture differ from ask and guess cultures? Does asking for consent (instead of guessing about whether or not the person consents) in sexual situations kill the mood?
Will Eden was on the podcast back in episode 040. You can read more about him there!
Sam Rosen was on the podcast back in episode 002. You can read more about him there!
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