230. “We spend 168% of what we make. What are we missing?”
Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi
Intro
Ramit introduces the episode, outlines the problem of couples hiding debt, and previews Amy and John's situation with fragile trust and huge debt.
Amy (32) and John (40) are raising two young kids in Canada, earning a solid $155,000 a year. But with $768,181 in debt and fixed costs at 168% of their income, every month feels like a losing battle. Two years ago, John hid hundreds of thousands in business tax debt from Amy—what she calls “financial infidelity.” Since then, trust has been fragile, money is tight, and they often feel like they’re fighting on “two separate life rafts.” Amy’s trying to rebuild their future, but when more than HALF of their monthly income goes immediately towards debt, they’re struggling to find a path forward. Can Ramit help them bridge the gap between good intentions and hard numbers—and finally get on the same team?
In this episode we uncover:
• How their fixed costs rose to 168% of their income
• Why John hid his business tax debt, which shattered Amy’s trust
• How years of financial strain forced Amy to shoulder household finances alone
• How Amy’s volatile income and John’s shrinking business payouts created a $4,000 deficit
• John’s Dreamer attitude collides with the harsh math of his monthly debt payments
• The emotional impact of having no safety net
• Amy’s plan to launch a new business vs. John’s struggle to keep his afloat
• Why managing risk isn’t about optimism
• Amy’s frustration with carrying the mental and emotional load of finances while John “focuses on income”
• Ramit’s direct call for decisive leadership and clear planning to get out of financial free fall
Chapters:
(00:00:00) “He spent two years hiding his debt from me”
(00:18:03) Ramit breaks down their numbers
(00:26:27) “I was humiliated driving that Tesla”
(00:39:52) “We’re flying blind”
(00:54:47) “I feel like I’m carrying this weight alone”
(01:02:13) “Hope is not a strategy”
(01:24:56) “This is what happens when we finally get specific”
(01:42:25) Where are they now? Amy and John’s follow-ups
Links Mentioned In This Episode:
• Join me Monday, October 20 to learn How To Nail Your Dream Job Interview. Reserve your spot at https://iwt.com/interview
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Connect with Ramit
• Get my new book, Money For Couples
• Get Money Coaching with Ramit
• Download the Conscious Spending Plan
• Listen to my book—now on Audible
• Get my New York Times best-selling book
• YouTube
If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.
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