The Effects of Other Oriented Perfectionism on Social Relationships

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Can you have pure other oriented perfectionism without actually feeling the effects of it your own internally? Really good question. Don't touch on this in the book actually, but let's go into it because it is a very, very interesting question. So what we tend to see is those who've got high levels of perfectionism, self oriented perfectionism, fused with or combined with another type of perfectionism called narcissism. And that can have negative consequences for their social relationships and mental health.

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Most of us know perfectionism as the relentless pursuit of flawlessness, our fatal flaw of having a constant need to meet impossibly high standards. It's a trait that many of us strive for, believing that it will lead to success and happiness. But what if I told you that this concept of perfectionism as we know it isn’t the full picture? And the badge of honour we think perfectionists wear is one big misconception. Today I’m joined by Professor Thomas Curran, an Assistant Professor in the Department of Psychological and Behavioural Science at the London School of Economics. With over a decade of experience, Professor Curran is a world leading expert on perfectionism. He has written for the Harvard Business Review, New Scientist, The Guardian, Telegraph and Wall Street Journal. In 2018, he gave a TEDMED talk which has over 3 million views and earlier this month he published his book The Perfection Trap: The Power of Good Enough in a world that always wants more’. In the conversation we talk about the paradoxical effects of perfectionism, how our perfectionistic traits stem from a cultural obsession rather than a personal flaw and shows what we can do as individuals to resist the modern-day pressure to be perfect - and how we can create a culture that celebrates the joys of imperfection.

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