Honeycomb's Magic Quadrant Is Too Incomprehensible to Explain to Procurement

This week we discuss Private Equity buying New Relic and review the Gartner MQ for APM like no one else. Plus, some thoughts on yogurt, fruit and almonds…

Watch the YouTube Live Recording of Episode 416

Runner-up Titles

• How big are your almonds?
• It’s under consideration
• The Olympics of Monitoring
• Putting Hats on Cats
• Stanley Nickels for Monitoring
• The 3 Fines
• It’s just crazy enough [that] it might work
• I was told the test was log management
• IDC is the thin balogna

Rundown

• New Relic is getting bought so let’s overanalyze the APM MQ
  • WSJ News Exclusive | Software Company New Relic in Talks to Be Sold
  • 2022 Gartner® Magic Quadrant™ - For APM and Observability
  • IDC APM marketshare from 2021

Relevant to your Interests

• Kustomer, the CRM startup acquired by Meta last year for $1B, spins out on a $250M valuation
• Harvard’s Famous Study on Happiness Might Surprise You - Meetup Blog
• Historical software multiples at IPO
• Introducing the ChatGPT app for iOS
• Luxottica confirms 2021 data breach after info of 70M leaks online
• Redpanda CEO on business source (BSL) over open source
• Australian stock exchange says software overhaul won't involve blockchain
• Shutterstock (NYSE: SSTK) agreed to buy Giphy
• The 5 biggest announcements from Microsoft Build 2023
• Microsoft launches Fabric, a new end-to-end data and analytics platform
• Alibaba misses revenue estimate, approves cloud unit spinoff
• Laid-off Big Tech workers are getting invited to return—on unfavorable terms

Nonsense

• A Texas A&M-Commerce Rodeo Instructor failed his entire class due to a basic misunderstanding of how "Chat GTP" works
• The Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser at Walt Disney World will take its final voyage
• Opening 100 pppts at once? Challenge accepted!
• The Latest Sriracha Shortage Looks Worse Than The First One

Conferences

• June 1st VMUG Belgium in Brussels , free.
• June 7th State of Kubernetes overview, online.
• June 8th to 9th PlatformCon, online.
• June 22nd to 23rd DevOpsDays Amsterdam, attending.
• June 27th to 30th FinOps X San Diego, attending.
• August 8th Kubernetes Community Day Australia, attending.
• August 21st to 24th SpringOne & VMware Explore US, in Las Vegas.
• Explore EU CFP is open.
• Sep 6th to 7th DevOpsDays Des Moines, speaking.
• Sep 18th to 19th SHIFT in Zadar, speaking.
• If you want your conference mentioned, let’s talk media sponsorships.

SDT news & hype

• Join us in Slack.
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• Use the code SDT to get $20 off Coté’s book, Digital WTF, so $5 total.
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Recommendations

• Brandon: What’s new in Mimestream 1.0?
• Matt: Have a picnic
• Coté: Hoodie and shorts for the spring; the “web browsing” plugin in ChatGPT does not work well.

Photo Credits

• Header
• Artwork