The Bugle Is Going Straight in the Bin

This week, we have a special questions in modern philosophy section provided to us by our in-house bugle philosopher, Professor V.X. Buckestoff. If furniture could talk, would sofa start a war? Would the widespread use of the social media term hashtag free will itself disprove the existence of free will? Do meat eaters have a moral obligation to roost on a potato until it hatches? And if scientists discovered that the only way to save the human species was by cloning 100 million Christiana and Aldo's and netting them loose onto an otherwise unpopulated island for 100 years, which island should we use? As always, a section of the bugle is