The Sitting Description of Sitting

This is supposed to be a training monastery, but i've been practising for over forty years. What do i think i'm training for? Point? It's one thing to come here as a young person to learn how to open up your eating bowls and where to put your chopsticks... But what am i supposed to be learning so close to the end of my life? And worse yet, if i haven't ten it yet, i never will. I'm not capable of awakening. I can't go deep. My meditation is a joke. So those were some of the thought trains that came along. The afternoon work period brought respite. I had requested kitchen crew. Everyfter