How to Process Disappointment

Trish Arcaro the Holistic Real Estate Pro, Maine’s Holistic Realtor & Industry Disruptor talks about her experience as real estate agent. Trish describes her transition from marketing manager in California to a real estate agent with a team. Next, she discusses the importance of being part of a group and having a mentor. Trish emphasizes, as a holistic agent, the aspect of serving and guiding people through their real estate experience while taking the well-being of the whole person into account.

Please check out Trish on Instagram here.

If you’d prefer to watch this interview, click here to view on YouTube!

Trish Arcaro can be reached at 626.716.2351.

This episode is brought to you by Real Geeks.

Transcript

D.J. Paris 0:00
What does it mean to be a holistic real estate agent? Stay tuned. This episode of Keeping it real is brought to you by real geeks. How many homes are you going to sell this year? Do you have the right tools? Is your website turning soft leads and interested buyers? Are you spending money on leads that aren’t converting? Well real geeks is your solution. Find out why agents across the country choose real geeks as their technology partner. Real geeks was created by an agent for agents. They pride themselves on delivering a sales and marketing solution so that you can easily generate more business. Their agent websites are fast and built for lead conversion with a smooth search experience for your visitors. Real geeks also includes an easy to use agent CRM. So once a lead signs up on your website, you can track their interest and have great follow up conversations. Real geeks is loaded with a ton of marketing tools to nurture your leads and increase brand awareness visit real geeks.com forward slash keeping it real pod and find out why Realtors come to real geeks to generate more business again, visit real geeks.com forward slash keeping it real pod. And now on to our show.

Hello, and welcome to another episode of Keeping it real the largest podcast made by real estate agents and for real estate agents. My name is DJ Paris, I am your guide and host through the show and in just a moment, we’re going to be speaking with top producer Trish arcaro. Before we get to Trish, just a couple of quick reminders. Actually, I got an announcement to make we It’s only taken me six years to do this. But finally, I guess Better late than never finally we have an Instagram account. Please, please, please, please, please pause this podcast, go to Instagram and follow us not because I need the followers although I do need the followers. But I want you to follow me not just for me but for you because we’re actually posting daily content on Instagram that are short form video clips of these episodes. So if you want to just get the little nuggets of wisdom, I’ve got a team that is combing through the episodes finding the best parts and putting them on Instagram actually, they’re not just putting them on Instagram. They’re putting them on Facebook, tick tock YouTube, LinkedIn. I think that’s it everywhere basically every social channel. So anyway, please follow us find us on Instagram. It’s at top agent interviews at top agent interviews. I know keeping it real was taken so I had to find something else. Top agent interviews on Instagram. Thank you that would help us out a lot and please let us know what you think of the short form content. We are so excited about this. And also please tell a friend about the podcast tell anyone you know in your office Hey, listen to the show. It’ll help you increase your production that’s our goal. Alright guys enough for me. Let’s get to the main event my conversation with Trish arcaro

Hey, today on the show we have Trish arterra With next home experience in Maine. Let me tell you more about Trish. Trish. Our Kara is Maine’s holistic realtor and industry healer. Her unorthodox approach to real estate is rooted in holistic principles, which means she takes a look at your life and helps you manifest a home that aligns with your values, your aspirations and your lifestyle. It doesn’t matter if you’re a first time homebuyer or seasoned seller Trish will guide you through the process with compassion, care and expertise. Visit Trish at her website which is Trish r keroh.my. Next home experience.com We will have a link to that in the show notes. And also please follow her on Instagram she is at holistic real estate pro again holistic real estate pro on Instagram link to that as well in the show notes Trish Welcome to the show.

Trish Arcaro 4:17
Thank you for having me, DJ Paris. This is

D.J. Paris 4:21
we were we were both just laughing because Trish his last name is Italian and she goes I’m not really Italian. And I said well my last name is Paris and I’m not French. Go figure. But I’m glad we’re talking to people with with with unusual last names that don’t match their ethnicities. But tell us I would love to learn a little bit more about you and tell or expose our audience to to to your sort of way of doing business. I’m really excited to chat with you. I’ve I’ve been I love the fact that that I think in real estate. A lot of times people don’t have enough fun in the sense of with the things that may be thought to be not as aligned with real estate. So in real estate, we like to think like, oh, the headshot needs to look perfect, I need to be sort of more conservative and buttoned up and just, you know, a more sort of traditional business stuffy kind of approach. And you are like, No, my authentic self is I am into some interesting, cool things that are important to me. And I’m going to embed that into my business. And I just love that. So nobody probably knows what yet what we’re talking about. So I’m excited to get to that. But before we get to what you’re doing today, I want to hear about how you got started. So tell us how you got into real estate.

Trish Arcaro 5:38
So I, back in 2003, and four, I was working as a receptionist for a salon and there was a hairstylist there that does mortgages on the side. And I was like, how do you manage yourself doing mortgages and doing hair at the same time, I just don’t even know how she got it. But, you know, that started this, that seed was planted in my head, I was like, Oh, maybe I should try it in California. So was when I was in California. And fast forward to 2014. I just jumped right in, there was an opportunity to be a marketing manager for a team for real estate agency that I first started out in, and I grew with them. And then somehow, it’s so weird, because the universe just kind of aligns you and connects with you. Put you in the right place at the right time. So the team that I was working for, or working with their family lives around the block from my parents house in Los Angeles, it is so I’ve never met them. Yeah, never met them in my life before until I moved to Maine. And then they had California ties, Los Angeles ties and so happens that they lived around the block from my parents house. It’s so weird. So weird. And now we’ve become really friends. And I’ve learned so much from starting out as a team member, and then developing my own brand, successfully on my own since I’ve left the team. So how

D.J. Paris 7:05
did you go from West Coast to East Coast, you made a huge shift there.

Trish Arcaro 7:09
That was a quantum leap for me. So yeah. So when we literally decided to move to California to make we my husband and I were like, We don’t want to raise our kids out here. We don’t you know, in LA, I wanted something different. So we decided to move closer to his family here. And I, I dropped everything to pick up and then move really. And then I started real estate maybe six to eight months later. And I just went went on. And I barely had anything there like nothing. Sure.

D.J. Paris 7:52
Well, I always know that about. Yeah, there’s something about the idea of sort of having to make it work. Like for people that are there’s like a gift they call it like the gift of desperation in a sense. And I’m not saying you are desperate. Not having a safety net is is definitely like a huge risk. And, but but I always find it in some ways. Like it sort of forces people to get really, really, you know, sort of in line with their goals. And and then they can Yeah, and there’s no other option as a lot of times you just figure out a way to make it work.

Trish Arcaro 8:27
Yeah, it was very, you know, scary, you know, when I know feel like it’s the right thing to do. And there’s something better on the other side, once I get through this past this fear. And so, you know, moving from Los Angeles to Maine, just was the best is the entire family. My mom and dad bought a house out here followed me and their grandkids out here too. Yeah. So they have two properties, one in LA and then one here in Maine that I manage, me, my husband take care of while they’re gone. And they go back and forth. So I mean, it’s a whole win win situation for all you know what I mean? It’s all for the highest good. So it’s for my family and my parents.

D.J. Paris 9:09
Yeah, no, I mean, that’s amazing. And the culture is very different. Right? So you were like Southern California and then you move to sort of, you know, mid to northern parts of Maine and people are different. Values are different, everything’s different.

Trish Arcaro 9:23
Everything was different but the one thing I can say about Mainers out here when I first they’re so welcoming so friendly I stuck out obviously you know coming from

D.J. Paris 9:35
the west coast granola Girl Yeah,

Trish Arcaro 9:37
yeah. So I was like, you know coming from Pine like you know, palm trees the beach to Sandy tan all the time to like to like pines, trees and snow. Yeah. Then my experiencing i There’s a lot is that I’ve since living here in Maine and I would never change. And like I said it was just The best decision best Quantum Leap decision that I’ve ever made in my whole entire life so far. So that was

D.J. Paris 10:08
I love it. Yeah. And and now Yeah, you get to see the you get to see the colors change, you get to see the seasons, you get to eat a lot of lobster there’s, there’s, there are some benefits to living in Maine. You’re buying the mountains, you’re by the water. Just everything I just Yes. Such as everything’s, by the way for anyone that has not seen the colors change in the northeast, starting around like September October ish. If you’ve never done that, like I had a friend who I mean, it was one of those things that people told me for years, you got to see the colors change. And I was like, Yeah, you know, whatever. Yeah. And then finally, I had a friend in Boston, and she goes, you’ve never seen the colors change. And I’d been I’ve been to almost all the states, not all of them. But there’s like five or six I hadn’t been to at that time. And those happen to be like New Hampshire, Vermont and Maine where I still haven’t been to Vermont, but New Hampshire and Maine I had never been to and she’s like, Oh, perfect flying to Boston and drive up. And I legitimately was just the whole entire weekend, or however long. I was I was just constantly ping pong, my eyes were like, I have never Yeah, colored neon colored leaves I’d never seen like that color yellow, or green, or red or orange. I it’s just exquisite. And it’s, it’s we’re so lucky to have that in this country. And anyway, that’s my little go to Maine, and go see the colors.

Trish Arcaro 11:29
They actually they, you know, they actually have a map of like the levels of bright, though as, as the state changes, they have levels of the colors like, Well, you shouldn’t be here, this is the highest like you can see the colors and then it goes down, down down. And then it’s just so rad to see how our state just changes from one thing to another.

D.J. Paris 11:54
Well, it is funny, because it’s a small, it’s kind of a small window, and no one’s ever exactly sure what it’s going to hit or exactly like until you get really close to it. And then by then like everything books up. So you have to, you have to sort of make us somewhat of a guest like in the summertime or whatever. But so I was we were on all those sites, and oh my gosh, I just just such a beautiful part of the country. So tell us a little bit of So you moved west coast to to to Northeast, and then you had to start over. So I want to hear what it was like to start over in a new state where you’re not from no sphere of influence, really. So how did you how did you build.

Trish Arcaro 12:30
So I literally I didn’t put it into like perspective until I started really thinking about it, like, you know, you start thinking about your past and how you did it, I was like, Well, I really just took like, three steps in, which is the manifestation process. And it’s really just really getting clear on who I want to be around with getting clear on my vision and who I want to serve, and surrounding myself with those kinds of people and gaining so much information. And that’s why joining a team was so valuable to me because I had mentors that I can like, go to every time. And you know, it’s just for me it was more about there’s a goal, I want to serve people, I want to be able to dive myself into this community because this is where I’m setting my routes. So I might as well just embody myself as a real estate agent at that time. And then taking step number two would be taking those action steps. So doing the classes going out and meeting different people, you know, obtaining leads lead generation doing whatever I have to do as a real estate agent during that time, I did that. And then number three is just being open to receiving whatever is meant for me. So whether it’s the commission checks, whether it’s the actual clients that you attract, and you become lifelong friends with them and you start developing this brand and I didn’t really be wasn’t really in tune with myself then when I was on a team because I was representing a brand for someone else. It was not my brand. But now that I’m by myself and you know, part of a culture here at Next time, my experience is just just pretty much rock and launch me to where I am today. So those steps on my beginning days are so vital. So I knew I had to know what I needed to do. And then kind of just, you know, elaborated and collaborated with other partners in the industry to help me become who I am today.

D.J. Paris 14:38
I love that and it’s really, it’s really apt I was this you’ll you’ll appreciate it. You’ll probably find this interesting. So last night I was I was I was gonna just listen to some sort of more of just entertainment style podcast in the evening while I was relaxing. And a friend of mine said, you really should. I think you’d find this interesting. There’s a podcast by Sam Harris. Who’s more of like a Phyllis sort of a philosopher, but really just kind of a deep thinker. And some people like him, some people don’t, I’m not here to say whether he you know, you should listen to him or not. But anyway, he did a whole a 45 minute piece about freewill. And what was interesting was he was like, he doesn’t believe in free will, which is really interesting. And then he makes this case for why we don’t actually have free well, and he’s able to make that case pretty logically. And so what’s interesting is he says, It’s not that you don’t have some semblance of control over over parts of your life, of course you do. But for the overall sort of part of your life, really, things just kind of happen to you. And, and then it’s about what you do with what happens, you know, like, it’s like, things are just gonna happen, good things, bad things. And then it’s about what you make of those things. Yeah. But But he also said about getting clear with intention starts to sort of set in motion, you know, this idea of attraction and not in like a woowoo II kind of like, metaphysical way, but he’s like, no one, it actually activates, you know, certain parts of the brain that then start to look for those things. So this idea of getting really clear about what you want. Step one, is really important. And by the way, it’s what every consultant does, when they first talk to somebody, they’re like, Okay, tell me what you’re looking, what do you what do you want care at? What’s the problems? What are you looking for? Let’s get clear about that first, and then let’s figure out how to get you you know, those next few steps. So you’re absolutely right, it’s like, figure out what you want, then take the steps necessary. And then the hardest part may be for a lot of people’s being willing to receive, I think, yeah. It seems like that would be the easiest step. But for me, I think that would be the hardest part for

Trish Arcaro 16:38
me, you think so it for me, it’s a totally opposite. So like, it’s, I’d be happy to open to like, I’m open to receiving whatever is meant for me, like, I accept that the hardest thing for me is the how and the when is when I think five most of my clients have a hard time with is just, you know, like, When is this gonna happen? Like, how am I gonna get I was like, You hurry up and wait. It’s like, you can’t choke hold the universe. In that sense, where you’re like, you can try, you can try but it’s not going to the outcome is not what you want, or what you think you want. So it’s just, you know, again, releasing that control piece, and like just just letting it flow. And that’s what I did to build my business now was like, Okay, I got really clear, you know, my action was to I hired, you know, two different coaches, like, for me, so do self, like self development, get in with my inner child, do all that, like Shadow Work, all of those things, and then, you know, applying it to my business, and you know, for personal reasons, I doing it for it, but then, like, why can I just put it into my business? Like, why can I just inflict it, fuse it and then somehow I just one thing led to another, I get connected with a brand strategist who helped me develop the name, holistic real estate pro, like, and she was aligned with me, like minded all of these things, and it just so crazy, and how the universe just connects you. And I truly believe in divine timing, hands down, whatever, whatever you’re doing, whether it’s in business or in personal, it’s all about divine timing, it’s, it’ll happen when it happens. And you’ll know and, and you’ll know, just,

D.J. Paris 18:27
and I think, too, once you get more, and I’m going through this process myself, it’s like starting to make more space for for silence and a little bit of alone time, where, but but not alone time where I’m listening to other things or watching other things or just sort of taking time to sort of just allow things to emerge from within. And that idea that we have this sort of wealth of creativity and knowledge and, and just feelings in sort of intuition. You’re gonna I know, you’re really big into intuition. Yeah, what I will talk, I want to I definitely want to talk about how you apply that in your business. What I’ve what I found with intuition for me, is we live in a very noisy world, right? Like our phones are constantly asking for our attention, they’re begging for that attention. There’s a you know, there’s a lot of tech companies that you know, are vying for that, that space where they want your attention. And if I don’t give myself attention, if I don’t actually make space for these, like thoughts and ideas to emerge, then they’re just not going to be heard by my unconscious mind. So, so this idea about about get making some time is really important. Because like, again, that’s intuition. The signals are there, but if you’re not to,

Trish Arcaro 19:42
yeah, if you’re not listening to your heart or your, or looking at the science, there’s so many signs that people just miss. And I just think, for me, I have to really be in tune with myself and really know that you know, look beyond my third eye and just So make sure that like, Okay, what is my gut tells me that’s my first instinct is what is your gut tell you? If it’s like a hell yes, then hell yes. Then if it’s a heck no, no, don’t even don’t even go there. Or if it’s an unmanned middle, just sit with it a little bit. It’s okay to sit. If you’re totally right. Yeah, I totally get that. Yeah.

D.J. Paris 20:19
So like, for me too, with intuition, I find that what can be challenging for me is understanding what is real intuition. And also what might be anxiety, fear, things that like, for example, the most obvious example is when I go to the gym, which I don’t ever want to do, of course, but but I do it because I, it’s a good idea. So I go, and then I’m literally going to be diving headfirst into like, physical pain, right? That’s like, that’s the reason I don’t want to do it. Because it hurts. It’s terribly hard. But of course it is everything in life that’s worthwhile is hard. So no, you know, that’s, but I don’t like it. But I like the way I feel when it’s over. But my point is, is sometimes I’m just like, oh, I don’t want to go. And I’m like, Well, okay, and that’s fine. Of course, I don’t want to go. It’s painful. That makes sense. But is that really my intuition? Is that my wisest self? Or is that just a little fear? Part of me that’s just doesn’t want to, you know, do heavy weightlifting, of course. Yeah. And then I go, Oh, that’s actually just anxiety. And then the wisest part of me says, It’s okay, you can be anxious, but go anyway. And that’s really by intuition. Right. So so it’s idea of, of developing that in that sort of understanding of intuition versus, you know, oh, this is like a fear that I have that, you know, I’ve had since I was a child or something like, okay, it’s okay to have both. And, and so I’m curious on how you utilize. Oh, I wanted to ask you a question about intuition. Yeah. So it has your what is the hit rate or the success rate that you found with your intuition? In other words, how often is it? Would you say correct or right? Versus Oh, I followed my gut there. And it just didn’t lead me in the right path. Like, what’s the percentage of sort of, you know, outcome that you wanted versus outcome that you’re like, Oh, nope, I got that one wrong.

Trish Arcaro 22:06
80% are pretty great. Right there. Yeah. 20% I’m like, why not done that? Yeah. No. 80%

D.J. Paris 22:16
Well, nothing’s perfect. But like, percent is pretty close.

Trish Arcaro 22:19
It’s really close. And I you know, when I look back, I was like, ah, and I write down everything. Like I write down and I try to do things the goals that I want an outcome that I want that I desire, like a clear to close it or any no I’m like, right there, but I was like other something that is, you know, I’m preparing for the best obviously, in the you noticed that phrase expect the worst or?

D.J. Paris 22:45
Yeah, yeah, yeah, prepare for the worst expect expect

Trish Arcaro 22:49
that. And so, but there are things where just the universe just like, oh, no, we have this thing, we have this thing to deal with. You know, work, can we not, you know, be like that anymore. So there’s just just 80% of the time. I’m always right. My intuition. My gut is always right. Yeah. And 20

D.J. Paris 23:12
dopes, it, probably you probably see yourself in some ways, and I know you do a tremendous amount of action. So I’m not suggesting that you just kind of let things come to you. Because of course, life just doesn’t work that way. Now, most of us, maybe if we’re really lucky, I guess. But most of us don’t aren’t that lucky. So, so this, this idea of, you know, sort of being this almost like a leaf on on a river, just kind of, I’m paying attention, I’m doing things but I’m also not the river. I’m just going to let the river take me. Yeah, I’m going to pay attention. I’m going to take action when I need to. But I sort of suspect that that reduces a lot of fear and anxiety that you might have going, this is all going to work, like everything’s going to work out. I’m not going to fight against what is right. It’s that like, what is is like what is is I’m on a river and I Okay, and I’m gonna just let the river take me and I’m gonna pay attention and make changes when I need to. But I suspect you sort of see yourself a bit that way.

Trish Arcaro 24:06
So the phrase I love and it’s from a song is everything is is as it should be. Yeah, that’s it. Everything is as it should be. Every time my buyer’s or seller’s are like, I’m just so anxious that you know, everything is as it should be right now. It is fine. We are meant that if this house was meant for you, we would have gotten it if it wasn’t, you know, if it is it is it is not it’s not you got to accept that and that’s okay. It can you know, and yes, you know, this, we all know this mark is crazy, and people are not, you know, manifesting their house or they’re not getting the house that they want or they put so many offers in and so that fear and that discouragement, you know, this is where I come in and be like nope, I am positive. We’re going to find something like my enthusiasm, my my, my glow, my vibe. I’ve really keeps them together. And I kept them up and just making sure that you know, things are supposed to be like this things are supposed to, you’re supposed to experience these things before you get to the, you know, your goal. Like before you attain this goal, you need to experience certain things, rejection, fear all of these things, but yes, still have an open heart to receiving whatever is meant for you. You know, that, you

D.J. Paris 25:26
know, it’s it sounds sort of like some of the language you’re using sounds sort of subtle or maybe wordplay in a sense. Yeah. But it isn’t. Because I know that I get calmed down a lot when, like, you know, if something happens, and somebody’s wise enough in the group, if I’m in a group that says, Don’t worry, it this probably just wasn’t meant to be, but don’t worry, like things are going to work out. And if I trust that person, then will usually the person ends up being right, I found that to be the case, maybe something? Well, it’s it’s that old joke it. This is my favorite joke of all time. And it’s not a religious joke. So I apologize for anyone that might take this as like a religious thing. Trust me, it’s not, or at least not the way I think about it. But it’s just it’s a really simple joke. I think it’s the truest thing ever. It’s called, we make plans. God laughs right, which I always I love that. Because like, what’s more true than that? Like, yeah, we’d go for something and it just, that’s not what the universe or whatever. And, and it’s okay, because there’s going to be something else that does this,

Trish Arcaro 26:30
or something better. Yeah, this or something better. And that’s what it is, like, you know, today, you know, one of my clients, we put an offer in, and she was like, we put it in two days ago. And there’s, like 16 offers on this. And it was, yeah, and I was like, it’s this or something better. Honestly, if this or something better. And if it’s not, then we just move on to something else that you know, it may come back around, you just never know the universe are so funny in that way where, you know, you could become a backup lover, and you end up with the house, you just never know,

D.J. Paris 27:04
I am so impressed by that, that phrase, this or something better. And it’s not just a cute thing to say, to placate the you know, the client, it’s actually what you believe, because it’s what you believe it doesn’t come off as a cute little slogan or something that they tell you to say in sales, school or whatever. It’s literally what you believe, at your deepest part of you, because you apply those same principles yourself. And, and, and so if I, if I have somebody who’s congruent with their words, and their beliefs and their actions, where I know, they’re not just giving me a line that they you know, no, this will help placate the me. If I’m like, if I trust that person, I’m like, you just you just made that this disappointment slightly easier for me. Yeah, because I trust that you know what you’re doing. And if you’re confident about it, then I’m going to be like, okay, good, it’s not so so tense, your

Trish Arcaro 28:02
vibration, your vibration, your energy that you put out there in front of your client, or who your friend or whoever, they, they, they feed off of that in a lot. For me, my energy is so loud. And so you know, I attract these are all my clients the way I want them to like the way the type of client that I want, I attract those. And so they feed off of my energy, and they tell me time and time again, you have this calming aura about yourself, you have this positivity, where I feel down and all of a sudden, you just come up and have me look again and see and be like, Okay, this is not the end of the road. This is or just, you know, wanting one day at a time, one showing at a time kind of thing. It will, this journey is just not always going to be perfect. It’s going to be perfect for you, and how you experience it. So

D.J. Paris 28:57
well. Almost nothing in life is linear anyway, right? Almost everything goes up and down, up and down wild swings, peaks and valleys. Yeah, you know, heartbreak and love and everything in between, you know, death, birth, I mean, yeah, truly difficult and wonderful things happen to us, which are going to happen to us anyway. And this idea of, of not fighting the current that’s already taking you is it’s a lifetime of practice. I am not good at it. I try to control every area of my life because that’s the human condition. Yeah,

Trish Arcaro 29:32
you’re it’s up constant, work it within yourself. Especially as for me, in my line of business and my brand. It’s like I’m constantly working on myself every day to to make someone else’s day. You know, feel good. And, you know, that’s that’s the goal for me is to serve these families in my community and to help them achieve their goal. So their success is my success in that sense. And so I You know, I wouldn’t be here without, you know, the help and support and love from my clients and my friends and family. I just, you know, I just decided to embody myself as this and just, you know, let go and forget the fear of what people might think. And I think that’s what people do to me is because I don’t care what people think of me, especially in this market, like in this, you know, I’m not, I’m not your typical agent, in that sense. Like, it’s like I said, it’s like, unorthodox approach to real estate and, and it’s something that stands out and people are curious of what I do and and that’s how I attract these clients are like, Oh, you’re like me, you think you sound you you do things that I like to you love crystals. You love manifestation law of attraction. You love all them, like, Sure, come talk to me, I’ll talk about it all day long with you, whether it’s a house about houses are not I’ll talk about it. Yeah,

D.J. Paris 30:56
well, and and it’s, you’re attracting people who are into into that. And so as a result, you know, you’re you’re not having to even convince them that you’re this professional that has kind of a, I don’t want to say quirky, because that’s has a negative connotation, you’re not quirky in any in any way, you have this more unorthodox sort of style, which, really, at the end of the day, you don’t, because you’re a hard working realtor, and you’re working, you know, into the, you know, you’re working hard. But at the same time, you’re also like, Hey, I I’m not going to, I’m not going to be pushing against what is I’m going to just be guiding you to what, you know, what we think is what, you know, your next home. And if things don’t work out, don’t worry, we’re gonna we’re, boy, it’s very calming, I would say, yeah.

Trish Arcaro 31:42
Yeah, that’s a lot of people have, you know, the reviews I get, they’re like, you’re so calming. And just, you’re just there to, you know, if I call you frustrated, or I’m like, you know, I’m like a psychologist, coach, and like, everything that they want to dump on me, you know, and that will filter out the noise. And I know, they’re coming from a place of desperation, a place of lack, sharp fear, all of those things, and just somehow just let them sit in it. And I’ll tell I’m saying that it’s okay. You know, sleep on that, call me tomorrow, see how I just needed to just to just, of course, dump that on yo, like, it’s,

D.J. Paris 32:22
yeah, and then again, people need to get things out. Mm hmm.

Trish Arcaro 32:26
And then for myself, for me to digest all that, too, because I absorb a lot of energy from other people. And so for me, I do mind modalities, I’ll just meditate for a little bit, do a tarot reading for myself, write in my journal. And just remember that, you know, Trish, you’re manifesting and attracting like minded individuals, whether, you know, they’re on the same level as you or if there might be, you know, there’s a little struggle, there’s a little anxiety, there’s a little fear, but you are here to help them and guide them, your, your or their reason to move forward. Not me necessarily a reason but like, I’m part of their, you know, a huge part of their journey. So yeah, I just kind of remember, like, what I do, every time I remind myself, Who am I survey, and you also,

D.J. Paris 33:18
you take that responsibility very seriously, I can tell and that’s an important thing, like whatever somebody’s authentic self is that they want to bring into their real estate practice, they have to really be find the courage to sort of say, This is who I am, this is what I’m about, here’s why I think it serves you know, you Mr. Mrs. client, or here’s why it’s important for my business, but at the same time, like you what you’ve seen, authenticity seems to be the, the, the, the word I would put with you is you really are that person and as a result people are attracted because people are always attracted to authenticity, whatever the authentic self is,

Trish Arcaro 33:58
yeah, whatever it is, I mean, you know, you can have a different niche, different brand or whatever you do, and even other realtors asked me like how did you like manage to niche down to this like it’s really a lot of you know, it is a lot of work it’s a lot of self development and it was this was in the making, you know, years to come and I didn’t do this at the drop of a hat like I didn’t do this overnight this was like years in the making to actually deciding to come out like this as you know, especially in an industry that is so traditional and for me to come out like as a holistic realtor and there are many people out there that practice holistic real estate, you know, just like me or a little bit different than me but for me to be actually naming myself and becoming it you know, mains holistic realtor and an industry healer like that took a lot for me to just say out there and just put it out there. And you know, not hopefully The best but I’m just, you know, it’s just it’s it’s a risk for me, you know, maybe people won’t like that maybe it’s too woowoo maybe it’s too new agey, but you know, there’s so many people that deep down inside, they do practice some of these things that I do I just say it out loud. That’s it. Yeah.

D.J. Paris 35:20
But but the courage, the courage to say it out loud, I think is the secret sauce, right? Like, it’s, it’s like, I don’t have to hide this part of me. I don’t have to pretend that I’m not this way. And you’re not, you’re so different, really, than most of us. You just talked about the things that most of us just read about

Trish Arcaro 35:37
this talk about it? Yeah. And, and people have seemed to be really receptive. And even colleagues were like, how do I manifest this? I go, you’re manifesting every day.

D.J. Paris 35:47
Your thoughts create your reality you like it or not?

Trish Arcaro 35:51
Exactly. And then

D.J. Paris 35:54
what and that’s why if you if somebody accepts that, that premise that we’re all we’re Coke, well, maybe we’ll call it co creative universe, and they’re creating, and we’re sort of part of the creation process, then, then, if that’s the case, then you start to get really careful, or at least aware of what you are bringing what you are thinking about where you are putting your attention, because there’s a lot of ways where we especially right now, with the market, the way it is, we can, we could easily be putting a tremendous amount of our energy and attention into low higher interest rates that our clients don’t love. Lower, you know, less inventory for opportunities there. It’s, it’s, there’s a lot to feel crappy about if you want to, I mean, there’s plenty of it plenty of reasons. And that’s okay to acknowledge that it’s like, you don’t want to say, well, there’s no weeds in my garden, obviously, you want to take the weeds out. But at the same time, you don’t want to over focus on those weeds and miss some of the beauty that’s going on at the same time. Mm hmm.

Trish Arcaro 36:54
And, you know, a unique thing that I have my clients do, I had one my current client right now, because we’re searching and still looking, and still like, doing things. Because we’ve we lost out on like, a couple of deals. And I was like, listen, we have to do something different. So I want you to do this assignment. And this assignment is write a gratitude letter to your house that you’re living in right now. Even if you don’t own it, but it’s a house that you’re living under the roof of it’s giving your shelter, give a just write out your gratitude. On paper, it, see what comes up for you and see, see how it’s you know, giving you shelter through cold and, you know, keeping you warm, you know, you have a place to sleep, like all the things that you know, that you can think of give gratitude to your space and see what happens and I think that really opens up everyone’s mind. And just really like, kind of like, okay, now I have respect for what I have now. And now the universe can like open opportunities for me to be like, okay, yeah, here we go. Like, here’s some some listings that we can probably look at here. Some, you know, maybe you’re interested in change. You don’t I mean, there’s so many different things if you don’t show gratitude right now for what you have. How is the universe gonna give you something better than Yeah, I

D.J. Paris 38:13
could not agree more. I think I think gratitude is is just a great way to sort of flip the mindset quickly, it’s the quickest way I know to get out of distress, right and and there’s nothing wrong with with acknowledging distress of course, like of course, we need to acknowledge bad things that happen, but at the same time, you know, this idea of going Hey, in a year will I have found my perfect place like at worst case scenario, it’s like getting fired from a job Yeah, it’s like yeah, devastating at some time. Oh my God, my worlds over I don’t know what I’m going to do. And then a year from now, you’re usually in a better job with a better position. And we look back and go God, why was I so stressed? Well, because the unknown is stressful. So this idea of of acknowledging Okay, right now, it’s unknown, you know, you’ve lost a couple deals, but let’s, let’s let’s sort of think forward like once you get that poem, because you’re gonna get home we’re going to get you something let’s think about how you’re going to feel about that at that time and and and let’s be appreciative for what you currently have. I I don’t think that sounds odd at all. Like it’s it’s an odd thing for maybe not odd it’s an unusual thing for maybe a realtor to suggest what is it is it forget about you know, whether you believe in manifestation or evidence or whatever, but regardless, just practically, does that change your mindset? Of course it does. If nothing else, you just put them in a better mood for some some news that they didn’t want to hear.

Trish Arcaro 39:37
Yeah, and I think it’s just also too like for them for someone that is renting and showing appreciation for their space but then now it puts them into a mode of like homeownership or like, embodying so I embody this as a main holistic realtor. I want them to embody themselves as a homeowner. So like doing the things what a homeowner would do like, what would a homeowner gonna do, you know, get their money mindset straight, like Get, get their financial straight get checkout things that don’t serve them anymore and clear space and just again, showing that peace of gratitude and appreciation, huge goes a long way, like 100% of the time goes a long way when it comes to anything that you want in your life. And so that’s like one simple thing that one person can do, which is show gratitude. And but again, the second thing would be just maybe try embodying yourself as a homeowner, you know, like, you just never know, once because your thought, when do you have that thought in there? Now you have to put that into action, what are you going to do? And you’re basically telling your subconscious mind that this is real, like, Okay, I’m, you know, consciously Yes, I’m in this reality right now. But subconsciously, I’m going to be here. So I need to bring that out into the real world.

D.J. Paris 40:58
And I need to figure out what I need to do to actually get there. Yeah,

Trish Arcaro 41:01
yeah. And so you’re not mind tricking your subconscious. But you know, your thoughts, as soon as you think about what you want, and you know how you’re going to get there, or you don’t know how to get there. But you’re going to take a step anyway. It’s the your path will lead you to where you’re supposed to be.

D.J. Paris 41:19
And we’ll look, I mean, every professional athlete or not every professional athlete, but most professional sports teams have psychologists or lunch or coaches that will do visualization exercises where people can, you know, these top athletes, the people who are the very most skilled at their profession, in the entire world, basically, are also doing these kinds of exercises where they’re visualizing their outcome that they want. And they’re not all doing it, because they’re all in the New Age stuff. They’re doing it because it works. It works at the highest levels of athletics, which is a meritocracy, it’s all merit based and you don’t, you don’t get into being a professional athlete, unless you’re really, really good. So this idea isn’t so unusual, really know, this idea of getting clear. Yeah, it’s not it’s not it’s really not airy fairy.

Trish Arcaro 42:07
No, it’s not, it’s just your typical, you know, you’re just, everyone’s doing it and subconsciously, or consciously, they’re doing it, it’s just, I word it differently. And it’s, it means the same thing in that sense. So like, you know, getting really clear on your intentions are is a huge thing, like you, if you don’t know what you’re not clear about who you are as a person, or not clear what you’re going to want to desire, like what your goal is, and, you know, your loss, like you have to really get that understanding within yourself, and then surround your people to help you understand, if you don’t understand, get clear, you know, like, use your resources and talk to people and that you, if you want to be in this, you know, in a certain category, if you want to get yourself to the next level, you got to talk to those next level people, you know, like, you know, if you want to have higher income, talk to those people that how did they get to that higher income, or, you know, wherever, whatever, industry, it doesn’t matter if it’s real estate, it doesn’t matter where if you’re a medical, whatever, it’s still the same process, those three step processes, same anyway. And so what’s

D.J. Paris 43:18
what’s what’s great too, about talking to those people who are maybe one level above or more is that you find out what their mindset is, and what their thoughts and their beliefs and how they react to disappointment. And, and it’s usually a much like, what, whenever I love going to see, like, you know, concerts, obviously, I think a lot of us do, but but I’m a guy who’s been playing guitar my whole life, the reason why I like going to concerts, aside from just listening to the great music is also it’s not that I ever want to be a professional musician, but it’s very inspiring to see somebody who’s at that next level, and how seriously, they take their craft. And as a result, they have the success that I won’t have, because I’m not willing to put in that kind of effort. But this idea of, you know, we’re so lucky in real estate where, you know, we get to talk to top realtors, I mean shows like mine exists that that talk to people like you and, and so but you know, it’s you’re right, it’s this idea of, of figuring out the mindsets of the people that are a little bit further along the path than me is really could save you a lot of headache a lot. Yeah,

Trish Arcaro 44:22
and really tuning in to that, like, don’t just take it with a grain of salt, like really like, take do like, you know, take it away, like really implemented into your life and try you know, certain certain tasks or tips or something from a higher level may not work for you, but at least you tried and seeing like, okay, maybe I can tweak that a little bit a little bit to, you know, benefit me in that sense of my brand and my business and, you know, like there’s so many you know, we had an ex home conference in Houston and there were so many speakers and, you know, the the president of the A National Association Realtors was there. And this guy is amazing. We have the best right now President right now in our association ever. And you know, I’ve learned so much just five minutes speech, it was eye opening for me. And, you know, everybody comes from somewhere, everybody starts from the bottom. And you know, and they work themselves up and, and you’re right, if you’re willing to put in that energy to get up there, like that’s on you. For me, I’m like, I don’t want to feel burned out. So I do whatever I feel that is best for me and my family. And that’s the thing like I, to me, I Yes, I am a top producer, but in my life freaking number one in the company. No, I don’t, I’m not because I don’t want to be I want to be able to just to serve who I want to serve. And, you know, attract the clients that are meant for me and not not feel drowned in overwhelm, and just burnout from the real estate hustle. Like, that’s not what I’m all about. I’m all about common flow, and just, you know, moving with ease, like this job shouldn’t be hard at all. And it can be stressful, but you know, it’s how you respond, right? It’s how you respond to certain reactions, and, and you control what you can control. And I feel like I’ve been doing that, and tweaking it and working on it every day. But, you know, I’m successful. So thus far, and I’m so proud to like, even just talk about the way I approach real estate, because it’s a different thing. It’s it’s, it lights me up, every time I talk, if I’m the one someone was talking about it, I’ll talk about it all day in it. It’s a passion of mine. Now, it’s turned into something bigger than me.

D.J. Paris 46:46
I’d love to talk about social media, how, how do you approach social media to be an extension of your authentic self. So I’m curious on the content that you’re that you’re putting out there is just curious on your thoughts on that.

Trish Arcaro 47:02
So social media, I’ll do like the reels, I’ll pick a trending thing. And you know, I’ll do I’ll do a lot of I’m, I’m okay to be in front of camera. So it doesn’t really matter to me, I’ll invite a lender that who is aligned with me to join on them have fun, but I’ll do you know, I’ll share the steps that I take, you know, to becoming successful. So three steps to becoming or manifesting your house. So I’ll put it in slides, I’ll give them the verbiage that I use on a daily basis. And I don’t put out the market analysis, I don’t put out that stuff, I do that I have that for myself. So I can have the knowledge and expertise on my market, but the numbers and the grids and all that stuff. And that’s not for me, like, mine is more of just like being funny, being real, being raw. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows, you know, for being in real estate and or even on the holistic side is not always sure Ooh, whoa, you know, it’s I, you know, normal human beings do is just, you know, I just use a lot of my energy and my time to creating content with people that will grasp that, you know, like, you know, I have, you know, I have, like I said, I’ve partnered up with a lender, and she and I do tic TOCs and rails together that, that make it funny and seems like we’re like a married couple, or like, you know, just like a dynamic duo just just doing fun things. And I’ll throw in the verbiage of manifestation I’ll do the hashtags, all those things did get it out there. So that way people know about it. And I don’t know if social media is a great platform for me to express more of my, to my audience, and joining like, podcasts and things like that guest speaking is, is a huge thing for me too. And, you know, I’ve been doing it for the past, you know, two years now, like just guess, podcasting and just reaching out to a different audience. And people find me somehow they’re like, I want to move to Maine. And I want you I’m like, Oh, where do you find me on a podcast or on Instagram? And like, it was a you know, they’re not it’s very far few. You know what I mean? But that far, few turns out to be really cool. Like, I was like, Oh, someone actually was listening to me, or seeing what, you know, holistic real estate is about like this is where if they, if I can make an impact on them somehow to move forward into manifesting a house as I’m like, you know, my job’s done in that sense, like, yes. Okay, let’s do this. So,

D.J. Paris 49:35
well, we should also mention, before we wrap up that, you know, people do move to Maine from other parts of the country. You did, certainly a lot of your clients have or sometimes they have vacation homes in the Northeast. And so, you know, for anyone out there who’s listening who may have people that are exploring the Northeast for you know, vacation home or maybe move, Trish would love to opportunity Yes who work with you? Might as well let’s put that out in the universe too. So any agent out there with interest, by the way has clients that retire and they don’t always retire in Maine, they might go somewhere else like Florida or Texas or wherever. Arizona rubber people,

Trish Arcaro 50:16
mostly Mainers the snowbirds go to Florida. They go down south, so yeah,

D.J. Paris 50:21
so does everyone here in Illinois, they all go to Florida. So, but But my point is, is that, you know, look this, this is a referral based business also with agents. And, you know, let’s put that out there that if you’re looking for, you know, a good referral partner in, in Maine, uh, Trish is is is awesome. And she’s super well respected. Her clients love her. Obviously, she’s a top producer, and she’s fun. So I mean, if nothing else, she’s fun. And fun goes a long way in my book in real estate, because very few people are willing to be fun. So I love that. So if if Trish if there is another agent out there listening who either wants to refer business to you, or maybe wants to, you know, see if you have business for them. What’s the best way that or by the way we also it’s not only a realtors who listen to us, although I I suspect it’s 99% 9%

Trish Arcaro 51:16
of your your listing? Is somebody

D.J. Paris 51:19
who’s not an agent who’s maybe thinking about going to Maine, and maybe they want to work with you? What’s the best way that anyone who wants to connect with you should get into

Trish Arcaro 51:29
I’m usually on my instagram at holistic real estate pro but my website it’ll be in the show notes down there. You can connect me with me there my number my bio, everything is on there all about me. But it all in there too. Yeah. I mean, it’s just so you know, if you want to come to Maine, you know, I? I’m right here.

D.J. Paris 51:50
Everybody should go to Maine. I was it just go in the fall, go see the colors change? I promise it’ll blow your mind. And even if you’ve just just Google the images, and then when you see the images on Google realize that doesn’t doesn’t even do it a lick of justice. Like, it’s so much more intense than that. Yeah, it’ll be it’ll blow your mind. And it’s really the only part of the country that really has that.

Trish Arcaro 52:18
There’s a train actually, there’s a war train from Boston, all the way up. Like I think there is like a, they call it papers, the paper tour. And so it goes all the way up to Maine and then come back down, down to Boston. So there’s so many there’s so many tours and attractions or you know, companies out there that will take you on a tour through mass, Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine and see everything I mean, but Maine has, you know, the best lobster so you can still get lobster during that time. And yeah, I mean, yeah, if you guys want to come hang out with me on Instagram, I’m there all the time.

D.J. Paris 52:57
Fine. Trish on Instagram at my sorry, I’m sorry, holistic real estate pro. So at Instagram, holistic real estate pro also find her on her website, which is Trish r keroh.my. Next home experience.com. Again, links to all that stuff in the show notes. So, Trish, I want to thank you for allowing yourself to reach out to us and be honest. So we are you manifested this How exciting.

Trish Arcaro 53:24
I guess I did again, you’re like my freshman. This year. I was like, I need to manifest myself to be

D.J. Paris 53:29
done a lot of shows. Yeah, but first one of the year is a big one for me. I’m excited. I’m so excited. You’re not a newbie to podcast. So

Trish Arcaro 53:37
no, and I’m so excited to be on the show with you. And by the

D.J. Paris 53:41
way, you need to have a show. You know,

Trish Arcaro 53:44
somebody told me so my

D.J. Paris 53:46
realtor, just call it the holistic realtor or something. I am telling you, holistic real estate pro whatever. I am telling you, that would be awesome. You should you should consider it. Okay, I’m gonna have one more thing to do just just another like 10 hours a week. You got tons of time. Just a suggestion. I’m throwing it out there.

Trish Arcaro 54:08
That actually crossed my mind. And now it’s a sign again. should do this. I’m like, okay, so I think you know, having myself in my office. Yeah,

D.J. Paris 54:20
I could see you building a giant team, attracting a lot of other agents, if that’s what you would want. I don’t know if you would even want that. But I could see, I could see a lot of people being very, very much attracted to your mindset, your attitude, the way that you approach and I think that would be of tremendous service to other agents. Also to your clients, like here’s how to process disappointment. Here’s how to, here’s how to, you know, handle the ups and downs. I think you have a lot of wisdom that you could provide any good you’re doing it to your clients anyway. I just think if you put it, you put it on a podcast, I think it could live forever. So something to think about. Anyway, Uh, well, on behalf of our audience, speaking of our audience, we want to thank Trish for spending a good hour with us we really appreciate. So on behalf of everyone, we say thank you Trish for your time we know how busy you are. And it was really a bright spot in my otherwise busy day. I appreciate you your energy add coming onto the show. And then on behalf of Trish and myself, we want to thank the audience as well. Obviously, everyone who has made it to the end of the show, we love you, we appreciate you. Please help us by telling a friend think of one other realtor that you know that could benefit from hearing this great conversation with Trish and send them a link to this episode. Or you could ascend to our website keeping it real pod.com Every episode we’ve ever done can be streamed live there. If they’re not a podcast person, they can stream it from their browser. If they are a podcast person just have a pull up any podcast app search for keeping keeping it real and hit that subscribe button. And one last thing if you want to be able to get extra special credit 10,000 gold stars leave us a review let us know what you think of the show. This really is important for us it’s not just me begging for reviews so that we get more exposure although that is great too. But it’s really to help us continue to improve the show so you know unless you’re gonna leave us a one star review then you don’t have to do that but now I’m teasing but really do let us know what you think of the show because I only know what you guys tell me so please please let us know what what you would like to see more of less of etc I want to keep making the show better for you leave us a review let us know what you think. All right Trish It was a pleasure I next time I’m in the Northeast I am coming to see you because I’m sure I will need an attitude adjustment at that point anyway. And you are going to be my you’re gonna be my guru while I’m there. And you have to show me around but I absolutely love the Northeast so everyone go visit and also reach out to Trish follow her look check her out on Instagram, holistic real estate pro she does some really cool content on there. Check it out. Trish thank you so much and we will see everybody on the next episode.