Rethinking Small Talk

#602: Ever looked back at an old Facebook post and cringed? According to Olga Khazan, staff writer at The Atlantic, that discomfort is evidence of something powerful: your personality has changed, even if you didn't notice it happening.

In our latest episode, Khazan, who recently wrote a book on the science of personality change, breaks down how our personalities aren't fixed traits but flexible characteristics we can intentionally shift to achieve our goals.

The conversation centers on the "Big Five" personality traits — Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness and Neuroticism (OCEAN) — and how they impact financial success and career advancement.

If you work a regular 9-to-5, personality development can boost your career trajectory. Khazan highlights that conscientiousness — being organized, timely and detail-oriented — directly correlates with workplace success. 

She suggests decluttering both your physical space and your commitments to increase productivity. 

For introverts navigating office politics, she recommends "cosplaying as an extrovert" by signing up for regular group activities that are hard to back out of. Over time, social interactions become less draining, creating more opportunities for advancement. 

And when engaging with colleagues, focus on asking meaningful questions about their experiences rather than collecting basic facts — this builds genuine connections that can lead to promotions and new opportunities.

If you’re intimidated by new financial ventures like entrepreneurship or real estate investing, Khazan suggests learning from others who've succeeded in similar situations. Research shows you're more likely to implement strategies when you learn them from peers rather than experts. 

When discussing successful entrepreneurs, Khazan reveals they typically share three key traits: high extraversion (energy for interacting with others), low agreeableness (ability to make tough decisions), and low neuroticism (emotional stability for risk-taking). 

Think Steve Jobs — not always the nicest person, but his combination of vision, decisiveness and comfort with risk built one of the world's most valuable companies.

The most important takeaway? Never tell yourself you can't do something because "that's just not who you are." Instead, take small daily steps toward your goal, and you'll gradually develop the personality traits needed for success.

Timestamps:

Note: Timestamps will vary on individual listening devices based on dynamic advertising run times. The provided timestamps are approximate and may be several minutes off due to changing ad lengths.

(0:00) "The Surprising Science of Six-Figure Thinking"

(1:16) What is personality - behaviors that help meet goals

(2:24) Personalities change over time

(3:34) Personality impacts success

(4:12) OCEAN - the Big Five traits explained

(5:48) Origins of personality research

(8:20) Changing personality intentionally

(9:52) Low vs high openness traits

(12:05) Increasing openness gradually

(15:36) Boosting conscientiousness strategies

(23:09) Time management techniques

(30:31) Extraversion benefits careers

(33:19) Introvert's guide to social skills

(37:25) Healthy boundaries, not people-pleasing

(46:06) Meaningful conversations build connections

(51:16) Reducing anxiety with mindfulness

(56:52) CEO traits - extroverted, disagreeable, emotionally stable

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