Christy Noem, Milwaukee Brewers, and Other 'Worst Persons'

SEASON 4 EPISODE 24: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: If Trump didn’t have much time left as president, how would his cabinet behave?

If Trump didn’t have much time left as president, how would his henchmen behave?

If Trump didn’t have much time left as president, how would his Stephen Millers behave?

If Trump didn’t have much time left as president, how would HE behave?

Would he have a straight-up public delusion that 1448 days into his first presidency it was Joe Biden’s FBI even though Joe Biden hadn’t BEEN president yet? Ending with the panicked, plaintive cry to the universe: “DO SOMETHING?” Would he have hallucinations about Watergate being a hoax? Would he start accidentally posting private messages to his attorney general demanding prosecutions of those who prosecuted him? NOW NOW NOW! DO SOMETHING! Would he be unable to close his umbrella?

I’m not saying he’s DYING, I’m not saying he’s IRRETRIEVABLY SICK, I’m not saying he’s being raptured, I’m not saying he’s resigning, I’m not saying he’s fleeing… I’m not talking about cause, just EFFECT.  If Trump didn’t have much time left as president… if he were getting a PROMOTION to something, how would they all BEHAVE?

I think the answer is they’d all behave as they are behaving now.

They’d panic.

And, they are panicking.

They’d panic because they know, there is NOBODY to take over for him. Junior? Eric? Bannon? Miller? Vance? WHAT? VANCE? After Stephanopoulos stuffed him in a locker yesterday? What do they think they know about Trump’s longevity, that we don’t? Why is Stephen Miller panicking? Why is Mike Johnson panicking over the Epstein Files and more importantly what could his end game be here? What? He's just never bringing the House back into session?

And this all ties in to the indefensible Charlie Kirk assassination because all of this could be explained if you recognize that the Right thought Kirk was a future president, maybe THE future president.

MEDIA OBEYING IN ADVANCE: Trump attacks Politico's Dasha Burns to her face and instead of accepting the Orange Badge of Courage she tells him Karolyin Leavitt will vouch for her. That's disqualifying. And I'd like to read you only about one fifth of one of the best media essays I've read this year, written by Elizabeth Lopatto at The Verge. It completely changed my mind about Bari Weiss going to CBS. Weiss is no less evil, but Lopatto brilliantly argues she is not going to destroy CBS - CBS is going to destroy her. And they should televise it.

B-Block (35:05) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Milwaukee Brewers win, then humiliate themselves and their guiding light Bob Uecker, by taunting the losers. Governor Greg Abbott makes a joke about somebody else's physical incapacity. Trump's Beauty Pageant Miss Uncongeniality Prosecutor Lindsey Halligan makes another amazing typo. And a Kristi Noem twofer, performed with the Benny Hill Yakety Sax Theme playing in the background.

C-Block (46:22) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: The ACTUAL writer of The Washington Post's first Watergate story, Bart Barnes, has died. He pulled together the first-day work of Woodward, Bernstein and the crime reporter the day the thing broke in June 1972 and had a 50-year career that probably hit its nadir a decade later when he wound up covering the same story as...me. For months he and I and a couple of others were the core beat reporters on the 1982 NFL Strike. He was wonderful, and he was the final straight man in an intricate, fantastic practical joke we played on the New York Times' guy. The story of Bart Barnes - and The Janofsky Maneuver.

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