Celeste Headlee: journalist, bestselling author, NPR host, and one of TED’s most-watched speakers (31 million views+) has spent decades studying the art (and science) of conversation. But she didn’t always get it right. In fact, she says she used to be “the worst.” In this episode, Celeste shares how she rewired her communication style, what most people get wrong about connection, and the powerful tools anyone can use to become a better conversationalist. Celeste shares:
- How to start a conversation when you don’t know what to say
- Why the common advice about conversation (like “maintain eye contact”) doesn’t actually work
- The real difference between debate and discussion + why we’re confusing the two
- The surprising neuroscience behind great conversation (and why voice matters more than words)
- The truth about curiosity + how to practice it (even if it doesn’t come naturally)
- How neural coupling creates the feeling of being seen and understood
- What small talk really does for your brain + why it’s not so “small” after all
- The simple trick she uses to diffuse conflict and build connection in just 3 questions
- How to stop trying to “win” arguments and start learning from disagreement
- Why younger generations are craving connection more than ever (and what’s getting in the way)
- The power of follow-up questions + how they make people feel heard
- What we’re getting wrong about inclusion and how tiny micro-interactions create belonging
- Why performative listening is worse than not listening at all
- How to say “I don’t know” in a way that builds trust and authority
- Why smart people often struggle in conversation and what to do about it
Book Rec: Bleak House by Charles Dickens
Follow Celeste Headlee here.
Grab a copy of her book We Need To Talk here