I imagine you were filled with fear. Like, what will I discover if I go deep? Maybe I'll just jump right in. So the thing that got you to become an alcoholic is maybe the very same instinct that led you to try and reach self-actualization. It's so interesting. And some of us have to go right up to the edge, you know, and I am that person. But luckily there are healthy ways for an artist to do that.