I think there was time where it's like uh You felt like you weren't part of a plan like nobody planned Or if you were it was a plan that was um Destined to fail, you know what I'm saying? And so then that almost makes you feel like well, what's going on if my commander in chief here my mother or something? Set me up in this plan that doesn't seem like it has Statistically this doesn't seem super smart now now now how old were you when you started having thoughts like that? "It seems like you're sitting here thinking about the grand scheme and all these plans like how young were you and you started going down that road?" he