I’m angry! A Once-UndocumentedImmigrant Speaks from the Heart-- Live Work with Sunny, Part 2 Last week you heard Part 1 of the Live work with Sunny, who’s struggling with radically conflicting emotions. On the one hand, he has finally achieved his dream of an incredibly happy and fulfilling life, but he is frequently plunged into profound despair, fear, and anger because of the increasingly adverse political climate for people who are “different”—in gender identity, sexual orientation, nationality, political beliefs, skin color, and more. And he is shocked, fearful, and angered by the mean-spirited treatment so many are receiving—and which Sunny has endured throughout much of his life as well. Today, you will hear about how we set the A = agenda for our session with Sunny, along with the M = Methods we used. You can find Sunny’s goals for each negative feeling at the end of the Positive Reframing, and at the end of M = Methods, if you
Click here His scores on the Empathy and Helpfulness Scales in the Evaluation of Therapy Session were perfect. Here are some of the take-home lessons from this session with Sunny. 1. Unhealthy negative feelings result from distorted negative thoughts, like “I’ll be miserable forever.” Healthy negative feelings, in contrast, result from thoughts that are realistic and, for the most part, undistorted. Healthy negative feelings do not usually require any kind of “treatment,” but skillful empathic listening and support will nearly always be appreciated. 2. Empathy can be very powerful, and it is absolutely necessary for a meaningful therapeutic relationship, but empathy alone is not enough to change the way someone feels. 3. Finding compassion for someone who has harmed you, while extremely challenging, can also bring you peace. 4. Emotions such as anger, sadness, and anxiety are important protective instincts. And one can feel these emotions and be compassionate and loving at the same time. 5. As a therapist it can be tempting to either assume that you can’t help a patient because their feelings are “normal,” or to try to cheerlead or problem-solve for a patient to cheer them up, but the TEAM-CBT model allows us to collaborate with the patient, understand when and how they want to change, honor their resistance to change, and offer them the tools they need to change in a way that honors their values. Thank you so much for listening and joining us. Rhonda, Jill and I are deeply indebted to you, Sunny, for your courage and vulnerability last week and today, letting us into your world on such a personal level. We love you and will always be grateful to have you in our lives, both professionally and personally! Sunny, Rhonda, Jill, and David
