13min chapter

Pivot with Jenny Blake cover image

346: Finding Clarity While Navigating Change with Marc Lesser

Pivot with Jenny Blake

CHAPTER

Navigating Change and Identity

This chapter explores the speaker's personal journey of change and transition, particularly in relation to their career. They discuss their experiences with starting and leaving successful companies, and the importance of identity in navigating change. They also touch on their involvement with the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute and reflect on the difficulty of leaving a well-established company like Google.

00:00
Speaker 2
I mean, you spoke right to my heart at that time because I had just come through a period of learning about Buddhism and Taoism. And I had read my entry point to all this in my very early twenties was Wayne Dyer's change of thoughts change your life based on the Tao, but it had his analysis and kind of his own stories woven throughout. And so when I saw ZBA, like the Zen of Business, it just spoke to my heart. So I've been a fan of your work for a very long time.
Speaker 1
That's great. Thank you.
Speaker 2
I always like to start by embarrassing my guests and listeners. This has been eight plus years now. They know. They know that's my vibe, but I do want to start by asking about what might have been a tough pivot point at the time. You had a previous company called Brush Dance. And after 15 years, you started to feel maybe it was time for a change. A mentor said to you, maybe there's more out there for you. And then almost to make those inner thoughts reality, the board says to you, Hey, why don't you make this transition now? The part I'm curious about first before we maybe talk about how you reacted when it was made manifest with the boards words to you is what signals were happening within you where after 15 years, you started to feel maybe the whispers or winds have changed.
Speaker 1
Brush Dance was a greeting card calendar journal company that I started literally in my garage and moved up to my living room. But then it grew and it grew and I ran for 15 years. And I think my identity as a CEO, as a company making cool products, so many things, it was a wonderful, wonderful ride. But after many, many years, I distinctly remember walking into my office one day and there was this whisper in my mind that said, my heart isn't here anymore. And I immediately wanted to suppress that thought because it was like, Oh, man, that would mean change. And what would I do? And actually it was the mentor and she was also a board member and an investor in my company who took me off for breakfast and looked me in the eye one day and said, it's time for you to leave this little publishing company that you started. And of course, I saw it as a kind of criticism and she said, you have much larger things to do with your life than to lead this company. And I said, like what? And she said, well, that you'll have to figure out. And then the board gave me the kick in the butt that I wasn't expecting, but that I think I needed to get out. And then it was a few years later that I got this call from Google, Hey, how would you like to come help develop a mindfulness and emotional intelligence program here? And that turned out to be what was next for me. So it was painful. It was a painful transition and also it's always one of these looking back. It was perfect. It was beautiful. It was life changing in many, many ways to go through all of that.
Speaker 2
You mentioned the identity piece. And I would imagine it's so strong after 15 years with the company you started, you're running it. I find that alone, the identity piece alone feels like an under discussed aspect of navigating change, especially as it relates to our careers, like who in life, not the CEO. And you didn't know exactly what was next. It's not like you left brush dance to hop on over to Google. And even when you did join Google, it was still relatively early. In the company's life. Yeah.
Speaker 1
And it's funny, Jenny, that pretty recently, maybe three or four years ago now, I was at a party and just meeting someone who I had never met. And he hears me say the name brush dance and he really perks up and he's like, did you just say brush dance? I said, yeah, he said, well, I'm an attorney and I just helped sell that company to a large publisher. And I perked up like, oh, my babies found a new home. And this was I had been not involved with the company for close to 20 years and still felt that sense of identity because it was like a child that I gave birth to. And I actually think that's an important quality for an entrepreneur. I remember reading on the list of what are the criteria for things that most ensure success, especially for new companies and startups. And I think toward the top of the list was this deep belief that you have to succeed, right? That failure isn't an option. And I think that was part of the identity process. I think that I had around this company.
Speaker 2
In that case, you really did raise you raised it to 15 years old. Let's call it like a doogie house or prodigy, you know, and then left the house early and then to have it sell even so it stayed afloat. Even all those years after, I mean, that's such a testament to what you created into your leadership as well, that it was able to carry on without you. And then later even be acquired.
Speaker 1
Yeah, I'm proud of this child that will now live on in the world, at least for some time or as a calendar company.
Speaker 2
Isn't it also interesting what that mentor and friend and board member said to you? It's time for you to do bigger things. And don't you wonder how I mean, maybe she's very intuitive in our own right, but how people see this in us before we can even see it in ourselves.
Speaker 1
Her name is Shaina. I've lost touch with her now, but she was kind of a shaman and very, very intuitive. And there was the way that she said it was that she wanted the best for me. I could feel that she wanted the best for me and that I was undervaluing myself and I was holding on to something and. That part of that transition of getting that I had done what I could do in that particular part of my life and it was time to recognize that and to let it go and to allow what was going to come next to come.
Speaker 2
So then a couple years later, you end up starting the search inside yourself leadership institute within Google and I'm pretty sure did you do that with man. Or was it someone else? Yeah. Okay, because man was such a beloved person when I was there. I'm curious. What did this look like? Because it's a unique structure to almost start a company within a bigger company.
Speaker 1
It was an amazing time. The first call from man was, hey, how would you like to come explore developing this? Oh, and by the way, there's no budget. I was like, yeah, whatever Google. There's something strange about all this, but it was exciting and interesting. We were going to change the world. Through scaling meditation worldwide. That was Meng's vision and it was a vision that I thought was a beautiful one and it was like, let's test this out within Google. Let's start with the hardest audience in the world. Google engineers. Let's see if we can get Google engineers to align and buy in around mindfulness, emotional intelligence and leadership. And it worked. It was an overnight success that took about four or five years to actually launch and develop within Google, but then it just exploded within Google. And then it started to explode beyond Google into other companies. I mean, it didn't hurt at all the timing of somehow mindfulness seem to be seeping into our culture in a whole different way. And combined with the credibility of Google and I think too, there was a kind of a real sense of authenticity that I was bringing. And I think the team that I put together was bringing that we were really wanting to make real change was our core motivation.
Speaker 2
And what were the main years of this project of when you were getting it going? You were the most active.
Speaker 1
This would have been like 2006 to 2011. And then we started mangan, I and a Stanford neuroscientist created the organization called the search and site yourself leadership Institute. It was 2012 and Google owned all of the trademarks and the intellectual property, but they very generously said they're yours. They're yours. Use them well. That was super exciting, interesting times.
Speaker 2
That's great that they were supportive of you as leveraging that IP as well. So was there a transition point where it became a natural exit for you to not be as hands on internally and then kind of go your own related way in business?
Speaker 1
Oh, man, you're going right to the tough questions, Jenny. Because I'm living them right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I was the CEO and man was the board chair and I ran that company and grew it for five years and it was super, super exciting and brush dance as a company certainly had its times of growth. But there was a lot of struggle with that business model of a inventory company retail company in the midst of big changes happening. Search inside yourself. It took some time to assemble a really good team and to develop the plan and then it was really exciting time and man and I had a different vision, the business model. And at some point, I decided it was best for the health of everyone for me to walk away, which I did after five years. And man, that hurt that hurt may be very similar hurting because I had thrown my heart into that organization and that program and the people that I hired. And again, those darn identity issues, those were the hard ones that I had become identified. And again, that was now six years ago. And one of the things that I'll share with you that my therapist asks me pretty regularly is, so looking back, how do you feel? Was it a good move to leave that company? And it was like without a doubt, for me personally, it was a good move. I've had so many learnings, challenges, successes, opportunities in the last six years since leaving that particular role.
Speaker 2
I can relate so much. And that's a big one and it's a hard one to leave because there was probably a lot going really well and it's one of the biggest global companies. It's the epicenter of a lot of innovation and conversation and great people. It's not easy to leave and it's not easy to make that choice and walk away and. I know for myself personally, when I first left the full time role I had there 12 years ago, it was a lot of who am I without Google. I won't be nearly as interesting because I'm sure you can relate to this. Whenever people want to introduce you or they make sure that Google's in your bio, it's the thing they want to ask about at cocktail parties. I'm asking you about it now on the podcast, but it's this big, shiny thing piece of the identity. And so it's really scary. Leaving those identity pieces that are so positively reinforcing, I find is hard to leave that behind. There is a grieving process. I agree with you, even though I know that was the right decision for me. It's tough. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Some of my mentors thought it was not a good move. There are advantages to having an organization and an organization like Google. At being part of one's support system, but it's interesting. In some way, I still feel that in that they're part of my history. There's something that I did help create a groundbreaking program and a team and a company. And I don't feel like I lean on it inappropriately, but I also don't dismiss it. Just like, you know, the fact that you were a Google employee for so many years is like, oh, yeah, that's not a meaningless. Thing. That's an important part of your own identity and growth and learning that you can now share in whatever you're doing.

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