Men are taught that they show up to get sex from people and so that's part of like masculinity. So if we show up in our spaces about giving sex what is the kind of sex that this person wants to receive? That also opens up people's vulnerability and makes it feel safer for us to then be counter vulnerable with them. And you can tune into the plug podcast by b5 which is all about anal pleasure on wherever you listen to your podcast in April i have a kinky retreat called "kinky tapas" I'm launching an eight-week group online course for sexual confidence in and out of the bedroom next month.