The Four Horsemen and Contempt

If you’ve been questioning your relationship, want to arm yourself with red flags to look out for in the future, or want tips to keep the spark alive—I made this episode for you.

I share the science behind how to know when it’s time to call it quits and when it’s worth working it through. Plus, I share some research-backed secrets for turning red flags into green ones.

This isn’t about judgment or pressure; it’s about clarity. I’ll share exactly what to look for when I’m evaluating a relationship: from whether a partner expands your sense of self (or shrinks it), to how your nervous system responds around them. I’ll dive into powerful research from top psychologists including the #1 predictor of divorce with 94% accuracy, and what it actually means when someone makes you feel like too much, or not enough.

🎧What you’ll learn:

• How to know if your partner is helping you grow—or holding you back
• What anxiety around your partner could really be telling you
• The “Bird Theory” and why small bids for connection matter so much
• What the 4 Horsemen are (and why they predict most divorces)
• How to use micro-vulnerability, daily rituals, and weekly check-ins to rebuild
• What to do if you’re scared to leave—or scared to stay

✨ Homework: Try a 10-minute check-in with your partner this week. Ask: “What’s one way you felt supported by me?” and let me know how it goes.

👇Let me know in the comments: What’s one tool from this episode you’re going to try?

Check out the previous episodes of The Liz Moody Podcast discussed today:

• How To Know If You’ve Found “The One”: The Science of Soulmates

• Fighting Can Make Your Relationship Better—If You Do It THIS Way with Drs Julie & John Gottman

• The Novelty Rule: How To Use My Neuroscience Hack That’s Changing Millions Of Lives

Ready to uplevel every part of your life? Order Liz’s book 100 Ways to Change Your Life: The Science of Leveling Up Health, Happiness, Relationships & Success now! 

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The Liz Moody Podcast cover art by Zack. The Liz Moody Podcast music by Alex Ruimy.

Formerly the Healthier Together Podcast. 

This podcast and website represents the opinions of Liz Moody and her guests to the show. The content here should not be taken as medical advice. The content here is for information purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional for any medical questions.

The Liz Moody Podcast Episode 380

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