Rejection in the Digital Age: Timeless Emotions and Evolving Contexts

"I can't do that." How many times have you said those four words when facing a challenging sales situation? It could be picking up the phone to make that intimidating cold call. It could be asking for the close with a high-value prospect.  If you say 'I can't do that,' guess what? You're absolutely right. You won't. But here's what’s surprising: The solution is simpler than you think.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddjRyIHq6LA The Wisdom That Sounds Ridiculous (Until It Changes Everything) Thirty years ago, sales coach Steve Chandler heard a client say those familiar words: "I don't think I could ever do that." His response was four words that initially sounded absurd.  "Then don't be you." When Richard Fenton, co-author of "Go for No!," first heard this concept, he had two immediate reactions: "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," followed quickly by "That's the most profound thing I've ever heard." Think about it. When someone says they can't speak in front of a thousand people, what's the typical advice? "Just be natural. Just be yourself." But if they’re someone who freezes up in front of crowds, why would they want to be that person in that moment? Although you can’t magically become a new person, you do have the power to choose which aspect of yourself shows up in any given situation. The Alter Ego Advantage of Top Performers Elite athletes and performers often adopt different personas to enhance their performance. When the game was on the line, Kobe Bryant would mentally shift into his Black Mamba persona, accessing a level of confidence and killer instinct that separated him from other players.  "The Black Mamba is something I created to get through the lowest points," Bryant explained. "It's a mindset, a way of approaching challenges." Beyoncé morphs into "Sasha Fierce" on stage—a fearless, magnetic performer—but off stage, Beyoncé describes herself as naturally shy and introverted. Strategic identity shifting is the ability to step into a role that's equipped for the task at hand.  Your 3-Step Transformation Process Ready to make it happen? Here's your simple framework: Identify Your Limitation What specific sales activity makes you feel uncomfortable or incapable? Be precise. Instead of "I'm bad at sales," identify exactly when you struggle: "I freeze up when asking for referrals from satisfied customers." Design Your Persona Who would you need to be to excel in that situation? Create a specific identity, such as The Referral Request Professional, who understands that satisfied customers want to help others access the same value they received. Make the Switch Before entering a sales situation that makes you nervous, consciously transition into your character. Use mental preparation (visualizing success), physical cues (changing your posture, adjusting your voice), or even simple props (a specific piece of clothing or accessory). Creating Sales Identities That Perform The beauty of the "don't be you" approach is that you're not manufacturing a fake personality. You're accessing different facets of who you already are or who you can become.  Here are some examples of identities to cultivate in sales: The Cold Calling Champion When you need to make prospecting calls, don't be the version of you who worries about interrupting people or who fears rejection. Instead, become the professional who understands that you're offering solutions to real problems. Lead with confident conviction—like you’re doing them a favor by calling. Channel the mindset of a sales rep who is genuinely excited about helping prospects discover opportunities they didn't know existed. Before each calling session, take just two minutes. Visualize this persona. How do they talk? What's their vibe? How do they sit? Then step into that identity. The Confident Closer When it's time to close the deal, don't get stuck in the part of you that feels pushy or uncomfort...