Is There Pain in My Writing?

I lost a brother to suicide when i was 18 years old, and he was 22. A writer challenged me to write about him 20 plus years after his death. He said pain is still there in your writing, whether you recognize it or not. And so this kind of forced me into the possibility of writing about him, which i did. But there was an epiphany at the very end of the book. It was one of the last sentences i added to the manuscript. I think we're connected to one another in ways that we don't fully understand. Om, that's why, that'swhy i envy janie so much. You just need a literature person to write orlers