We usually obey some one we're fearful of, or someone who has control over us. I think kids end up listening to parents for two reasons: Either they feel very connected to them and very kind of close to them, or they feel very fearful of them. And like you ware saying, there are consequences to wiring fear next to love. So how can we manage that with our kids? First all, i think we just want to differentiate a behavior from validating what's happening to a kid.

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