is that I love that I just love the idea that we can get to a place in the world where we that we don't whisper autism yes because I think that's part of the social challenge for adults supporting other adults even is just being afraid to acknowledge that that their child has an autism diagnosis and so then we're afraid to acknowledge there's a difference and then we're afraid to say hey how can I be helpful or how should I try to communicate with your child how could I help Billy communicate with your child so that they can have a great 15-minute playdate and is there anything I could or should look out for like so that I can preemptively say to Billy hey sometimes this happens and that's not that's just part of I can't think of the pretend name of this other child but let's say this other child is Timmy and Timmy has an autism diagnosis and maybe we can share with Billy hey here's what to expect in this short playdate and here are some things that might seem startling or different but they're also something we expect and so we can better learn how to engage and not get so afraid because I think that is what builds the distance between families I think

that is such an important point that you make because we know from the literature that having a baby whatever happens that it raises some sort of anxiety and parents and they feel a little stressed because it is a huge change in lifestyle but unfortunately having a child with autism we see stress levels go way far up above what you would want far higher than any other type of disability and I think it's so important that that like you said that we the parents shouldn't have to feel like that we've all had stress in our life and we know what an awful feeling that is even if you have it for a week or two or a month it's horrible and thinking that these poor families have to feel that way for their rest of their lives is just so sad so coming together supporting them like you said we shouldn't have to whisper the word and be scared I see so many young parents that have newborn children that are so worried that they're going to have autism and we should really point out the strengths and how many people have autism that have done so well and what really what the basically the strengths that they have so parents don't have to worry about that and the support giving them support so they know even if they have some significant language delays or social difficulties there's we're there to support them and they can get better give them the right and constant intervention so they can get better and just moving on to another point that you made is having these play dates and getting together if we look for strengths of the children with autism like ask them what's their favorite thing to do so for example if they like toys that have lights getting a lot of toys that have lights and we try to do this through the lifespan so at school we try to make lunch clubs around their strengths that they like Pokemon or they like drawing or they like ball basketballs or whatever the activity even in college there's a lot of clubs available so we're always trying to get them to join those clubs around their interests so really looking at what are their interests and preferences and having those available and if they like you know the waters have them over you know for to go to the lake or the beach or the swimming pool so really just trying to find out what's going to bring out the best

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